my inner war.

today on my training schedule i have to run 6 miles at a 16.24 pace. oddly, i am excited about it.  i woke up thinking about it and am anxious to get to the gym.  
i am starting to actually feel good about myself and the habits and lifestyle i am creating. and it scares me to death.  i have always thought that if i genuinely felt good about myself and what i look like that it is prideful and cocky.  i know i need to have a healthy self-esteem but it freakin' scares me to death that when the thought crosses my mind, "i do look good tonight," that the weight is gonna be slapped back on me like playdough.
weight had been my own battle my entire life and i am determined to beat it correctly this time.

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