gettin' her hair did.

have i told you what happened to me when i as five years old?  no? okay, i will tell you.  get ready.
when i was five, i started kindergarten.  yes, it's true.  i wore pig tails (dog ears), whatever you want to call them.  all the time.  my mom had an affinity for them obviously, because every picture i have of that year, pig tails.  if you know me, you also know, i have stick straight hair.  my pig tails were curly. banana curls to be exact.  one large banana curl per pigtail.  
it was actually cute, thank you very much. 
my fifth year of life i was really cute, i owe it all to banana curled piggy tails.
to achieve said curl (times two), every night i would drag a chair from the kitchen into the bathroom.  slave labor, i know. then i would get the booster seat (being a girl is hard work), put it in the chair and i was ready to go.  by the way, that booster seat was two sears catalogs that my dad had ducted taped together to make a perfectly wonderful country bumpkin booster seat.  i get all my talents from him.  and my duct tape skills.  duct tape can do anything, just like my dad.
mom would assume her position behind me and start the forever long process of putting pepto-pink sponge rollers in my hair.  i should have known this process night after night would land me in beauty school one day.  it seemed to take her forever.  forever.  after a whole lotta whining by...uh hum...that's right. i was five, okay?  and some pulling of the hair by my mother occasionally, not letting HER off scott free.  i would get all rolled up, and head to bed for the night.  i think my mom secretly wanted to be a one of those crazy pageant moms.  just kidding, mom!  (can i just tell you that my sweet daddy carried me to bed every night?  i never really remember a night when he didn't carry me.  even when my legs almost touched the floor, he still carried me.  that's my daddy.)
then this would happen every morning.  i remember like it was yesterday.  i would drag the same chair back to the bathroom, (you would think after a while i would have gotten smart and just left it there over night.  HELLO, jessica.), get the sears catalogs (the only downside, those suckers were heavy!), assume my position.  mom would unroll the curlers.  i would stand up in the chair so i could see in the mirror.  and i swear to you this happened almost every morning for a long time.
wait on it...
god bless my parents...
i would start screaming.
it DID look like george washington.  may he rest in peace. not knocking the 'do, george, just wasn't the look i was going for.
so i was a tad bit dramatic then.  some things never change.  hey, at least i am consistent.
i should have known this process day after day would be what would eventually drive me from beauty school.  don't judge.
then mom would tell me to, "hush jessica."  "jessica, i am about to put it up.  now, put your head down."  
part down the middle.  pull up one side and make it smooth.  put it in the ponytail holder that matches desired outfit for the day.  twist all that george washington mess on one finger to create one large banana curl.  repeat.  jessica is happy and does not resemble a president in any way.
mama wipes her sweat away and is real happy i am headed to school.
bless her.

1 comment:

Alicia said...

can i just say that my 5th year of life looked basically the same, minus the the sears catalog booster. I had to stand the entire time! can you believe that abuse? and the banana curls...must have been the coolest thing that year, b/c yes, i had them too! apparently, our mom's really wanted us to be cute to go to school. i am doing good if my two have clothes and shoes on, forget a hairdo too! i know, shut up and write my own blog! i know!

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