when i turned thirteen, then fourteen, even fifteen i noticed that everywhere around me my girlfriends were beginning to wear make up. (in kindergarten, one of my best friends wore make up to school every day. i thought she was beautiful.) and they were looking good. i was not wearing make-up = i was not looking so good. all i wanted was to wear some blue eyeliner, because i just knew that would make the world a better place, if my blue eyes were made more blue by wearing blue eyeliner. wow, i think i just got a little blue typing all that... also, my aunt mop, yes, aunt mop told me that i would look good with blue eyeliner and i believed her. because i am gullible and will believe anything and still kinda do. you might could convince me of anything, please do not take advantage of my gullible-ness just because you know this about me.
my dad is old school, but not very observant. i had a curly perm all through out most of middle and high-school (yes, i am sorry), he never noticed that one day my hair went from straight to curly and stayed that way. he is a firm believer and if you asked him today, he would tell you, "if god wanted your lips pink, he would have made them pink, and if he wanted your eyelids blue, he would have made them blue." so you can see howthe make-up debaclewas going to go down in my house. it wasn't. all i wanted out of life was to put a little make-up on the face.
thirteen - i didn't dare ask.
fourteen - hmmmmmm. maybe i will wait another year. after all, not easy to confront the dad.
fifteen - it is time. i asked. i'll let you guess the answer.
sixteen - unfortunately, my drivers license picture was taken without make-up.
seventeen - time to have a talk. this is getting ridiculous. everyday, i am loosing cool points. i am lucky my friends will even look at me. and the blue in my eye could be magnified to such a greater intensity with electric blue eyeliner. what is the problem, el dado?
knowing my dad was not observant, i just thought i would pull the wool over his eyes. and let me tell you, i am a rule follower, have always been and really don't have much of a wild side in me. i was a very obedient child and teenager, and think i was probably a rather easy kid to raise. this is my blog, not my mothers, she might tell you different. i tried to always obey my parents and have always respected them even when i did not like them, growing up. buuuuuut, since my dad was not observant and my mom thought it was time i should be allowed to wear make-up but would not allow it either, because she had to back my dad, i thought i might could finagle with a little blue around the eye and dad would be none the wiser. have i mentioned, i do not always think my plans through? i do not. the day came, i had the blue eyeliner in my possession, i was feeling empowered and it was the day that those baby blues were gonna shine like the sky. i put a little on the top and bottom, and since i was not going anywhere that day, and would be spending the entire day with my dad, that was a good idea. obviously. hello?
dad and i headed over to aunt mop's for lunch. morrison lane consists of three houses, now four. my house, aunt mops and aunt sherry's. recently, my brother has built on the land, but back in the day there were three. and aunt mop makes lunch everyday that she is home, usually monday, wednesday and friday. if you are home, it is just a given you will be headed to mop's for lunch. man, i miss the good ole days. we headed to mops.
i had eyeliner on.
guess what color it was?
dad had not noticed. let's remember i was seventeen.
we gather around the table, and say the blessing and as we all look up, aunt mop looks at me kinda odd like. don't say it. do not say it. please. go away. shhhhhhhhh. and says, "jessica, your eyes sure do look pretty, do you have a little make-up on those eyes? they sure do look pretty." seriously. had she just asked me that question? and could i please have not been sitting next to my dad? and can a girl file for adoption herself at seventeen over blue eyeliner? my dad looks at me. i got under the table. not really, but would have if i would have thought of it. i said, "yes." dad looks at me. and knowing my dad, he could not tell. at all. he has never been a man of many words, i clearly take after him. he did not say anything, just kept eating, but i knew i was gonna get it when i got home.
when we got home, nothing was said. until that night. dad was in the basement, and he called me down there. this is how it went. i remember it like it was yesterday.
"jessica. come here a minute"
gulp.
"yes, sir."
slowly, i head to the basement and go and stand in front of the chair he was sitting in. p.s. i had washed the make-up off the face.
"jessica. i am gonna give you two choices here. you can choose to rebel and wear make-up or you can choose to be obedient and not wear make-up. it is your decision. what is it gonna be?"
large gulp times two.
"i am gonna choose to rebel and wear make-up."
i looked at my daddy and he looked at me. i don't know who was more shocked, me or him. i turned around and walked up stairs. i have never heard the words make-up ever come out of his mouth again to this day. my mom and i headed to nashville (because that is where the cool clarksvillians went to shop. and clearly i had just become cool) the next day and she bought me the biggest ultima II make up kit a girl has ever seen. it was the most exciting day ever. the tiger was loosed and i now had as many colors of make-up any girl could want. i wore make-up every single day....for a week. after that, i was kinda over it. until i had a love affair with maybelline's 2000 calorie mascara.
currently, my workout schedule will not allow for the everyday application of make-up, and since my main squeezes are three, it is not a necessity like it was when i was seventeen. well, actually it is more of a necessity, but i have come to grips with who i am, a wanna be. so i wear it when i am going somewhere or on the weekends, because i am crazy like that. holla! but i do love me some eye make-up. i do. love it. and let's be honest, i was a late make-up bloomer, i am still catching up.
and for the masses of men that read my blog. be glad you are not a girl for many reasons.
1. yes, childbirth i am sure is hard. at least that's what i am told.
2. being pregnant can not be thrilling either. the end result, yes.
3. make up though. seriously. it takes time, and it is complicated. you use too many q-tips. you run out and have to buy more. it is expensive. and to wear it, you have to rebel daily against your father. i still live with the guilt.
and i will go ahead and tell you. in my bag of tricks, there still exists some electric blue eyeliner.
No comments:
Post a Comment