WAIT!
before you slam your computer shut and call the nearest hospital...it's okay, it's okay. I'M OKAY. (well, when was i ever okay..." no comment please and thank you) no need to send flowers, although i do like flowers and if you need my work address or home address just let me know. no need to cook me dinner, although a girl has to eat. again, if you would like the appropriate addresses, please let me be of assistance. i don't prefer celery.
here's the short of it. (and another thing i fail at miserably is telling a short story. i just can't do it and if you are telling me something and leave out details, i will ask you until you remember the fundamental details of a story. details like, what color WERE his socks again? how many department stores WERE in the mall again? detail, i need detail people.)
clearly staying on track is another problem i possess today.
have i mentioned i have a concussion? please feel sorry for me.
i was putting clothes in the wash and raising to stand up straight (for my bestie is a front loading washer) and "raising to stand up straight again" is that what you would say? that sounds weird. rising to stand up straight. risin' up to stand up straight. 'bout to stand up again. well, as i was coming up, out came the wall. the wall that had been there for two plus years. the wall that i had avoided in all my other laundry time. the wall and i collided. and it was bad. i immediately felt like i was in a cartoon seeing stars. and then those stars stayed and didn't go away. and then i got a bad headache. and then i started to feel like i was going to cry from pain. and then i saw two washers and two dryers and four four year olds (ahhh!) and two 5 month olds. i felt like leo had to feel in 'shutter island.' i just know it. was i crazy? was i not? where am i? who am i?
more over, how the heck did that happen? after an entire evening of the woe is me's. and what if i die of a brain bleed? and now i will never get married because i am going to die from doing laundry! and i don't want to die alone! and will anyone find me...
i awoke ALIVE with only a slight headache.
today i am happy to report that i am all healed up. still mad at the laundry room. still mad at the wall. i have felt for years that laundry was out to get me. now i say...move over laundry, there's a new sheriff in town.
1 comment:
I'm not sure why, but this reminded me of the "bend and snap" scene in Legally Blonde where she breaks the UPS guy's nose. Like I said, I don't know why, but it did! Darn that wall!
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