bubba.

this is my brother.  his name is trampas rye.  yes, you read that right.  his name is trampas, my mama heard his name on a western, thus the name.  i love his name and i love that he is my brother.  i call him bubba.  i have always called him bubba, and can not remember a time when i didn't.  no one else calls him that, (well, fran does sometimes...) just me.  people call him TR, but i call him bubba.  he is 12 years older than me.  he was planned, i clearly was an accident. they (the parental units) deny it.  but let's be honest, 12 years later?  right.  

my brother knows from whence he came.  my mama.  yes, i am that smart.  i, on the other hand, have been told so many tales in all my twenty one (hehe) years of life, that i have emotional scars and issues.  my dad always told me, "well, jessica, i was talking the trash to the dempsty (we lived in the country, had to take our own trash) dumpster, and as i gave her a good toss, i heard this noise and i looked...and there was this little baby girl."  and then around easter every year he told me, "you were hatched."

i never argued, just believed.  but someones story, i'm not buying.  

trash or hatched.  i ended up with one brother.  and i would argue with anyone that he is the best.

he has not always been the best.

he did take the scotch tape bows out of my hair every sunday on the way to church.  my mama would work so hard on getting her little dumpster girl to look pretty for jesus and he would just tear them out, hair and all.  and then he would not even stand for the patent leather shoes that were put on my little hatched feet, he removed those too.  i still have an affinity for patent leather shoes, his fault probably.  and i do love all things hair.  again, his fault.

he would constantly knock the breath out of me when i was little.  i would start hollerin' and carrying on' (probably not overdoing the tantrum in any way, shape or form. thank you very much).  he would snicker and call me "moanie red eyes" over and over and over again.  i would scream louder.  my mom would tell me to hush.  he, clearly, has always been her favorite.

and then there was the time when i was five.  he was seventeen and cool.  he had a really cool black car that i liked to ride in and he always had saltine crackers in his room.  sometimes i would sneak in his room and lay down beside him and he would even let me eat his crackers.  those were the best nights ever.  sometimes he would even put his headphones on me and let me hear the music he was listening too.  i was so annoying, i am quite sure.  when i got my kindergarten annual, i was so excited!  i couldn't wait to get everyone to sign it, but especially my cool, seventeen year old brothers friends.  especially timmy, his best friend.  timmy had my yearbook to sign and i could not wait to see what he would write.  my brother told him to write, "to a little brat named jessica."  and he did.  he really did. jerk.  

then when i was seven, he up and left me for another girl.  well, okay, it was his girlfriend, who became his wife.  then soon after made me an aunt to some of my favorite boys around these parts.  my brother works hard, and does not complain.  he is a good provider and father.  he has raised three very wonderfully kind boys.  he loves my mama and daddy.  he helps my daddy with whatever chores he can after he has put in a long day at work.  he will go to the store for my mama any time she needs him too.  he is kind, loyal and real.  and he loves computers a lot.  he is a superb mechanic.  he can make your car hummm like its never hummmed before (and your computer).  he loves all things frank sinatra.  and he likes his tv loud.  i often think that he would have loved to have been a head pit crew chief for NASCAR.  i think he would have been good at that.  

there are many things in my life that i am proud of, but mostly i am proud to have him for a brother.  he is a rock.  my nephews like to call him a champion.  i call him my friend.  i actually just call him "bubba." when i was a little girl, he was the coolest big brother ever.  

he was my hero way back then.  

some things never change.