i liked to have died...

yesterday. (wow, you can tell i'm from the south!) i am not even kidding.  well, maybe i wasn't even close to death, but i felt like i was knock, knock, knockin' on heavens door.   again, no kidding. this has happened to me before, it was bad.  and i was with a real cute boy, which made it disasterly horrible.  i would tell you the day before yesterday that it was the worst thing ever,  but then i had never experienced yesterdays pain.   thank the good lord that i was not with a real cute boy, or i might have just went ahead and walked through heaven's door instead of knockin'. 9:00 am - i was getting ready for church, had showered, eaten breakfast.   routine.  the same shower i always take (haha) and the same breakfast i usually eat - oatmeal with almond butter, some juice and a yogurt drink and water. 9:25 am - something is not feeling right.  get over it.  i am.  apply the perfect amount of base and probably a little too much bronzer.   i am sweating bullets and not feeling good. 
at all.  some thing is really not right. 9:30 am - 11:15 am - i ask my roommate bess, who thankfully is across the hall getting ready in her room, if she has any tylenol.   this should do the trick.  i take 1,000 milligrams of tylenol and lay down a minute, because the pain in my stomach has over taken my body, and sweat is pouring off 
of me like i just got out of the pool.   yes, gross, i know. but just being real.  i make the executive decision that church will not be happening, since i have sweated all the bronzer off my face and i am not looking or feeling so hot at all.  i am the worst pain i have ever felt.   this my friend, is not a joke. i get up to go into the restroom, and almost fall from the dizziness and pain, and feel like i might pass out.   i even have the thought,  "you can not fall in the bathroom or you will hurt yourself, jessica."   my bathroom is t-tiny and should i have fallen i would have had a head injury, probably broken limbs and then terrible pain in my stomach, so i rallied and kept it together and made it back to my bed safely.
(note: i am very independent - and like to think that i can do everything on my own and do not need any help. i know this is not true.   i need people.  when i am sick, i hate it when people feel sorry for me or make anything a big deal - but still kinda would like some acknowledgement - i am only human and i am very much a girl. uuuggghhh. i hate going to the doctor and will avoid it at all cost.  i also am not much on physical contact (depending on who it is...i am kidding, kinda). like, puh-lease do not rub on me, or pat me...you get the picture.  i have issues i know, i am a work in progress.)
i am laying in the fetal position across my bed.  
as i lay dying, i remember, "oh crap. i have fake tanning lotion all over my body, it is gonna come off onto my pretty white comforter."   so as i leave the bathroom, i grab a towel to lay across the bed.   i am intelligent, mind you.  i might be sick, but i am always thinking.    i say in the loudest voice i can muster, "bess, can you come here." she comes. "can you please move my fan closer to me please?" (we rent an old house, it gets really hot upstairs, hence the fan - and i like the noise)
remember, i do not need help, i am independent.
she decides that she is staying home from church, because i do not need to be alone.  she tells me this, i agree.  
i do not need help, remember?  i say, "please, stay upstairs in case i need you."  she begins to worry.  now the pain has gotten so bad, i am even thinking...but not dare gonna say aloud...i might need to go to the ER. the pain, instead of just in my entire middle region, has moved to the very middle top of my rib cage.  an odd place for pain, and i am worried.   it is so bad, i am moving from side to side and moaning. and my breathing is not good. knock, knock, knockin'.
you think i am kidding.  i am not.
bess hears me crying out in pain.  okay, i do not do this.  if you know me, i just don't make over myself.  make things worse than they appear when i am sick.   it's just not me.  i probably downplay when i don't feel great too much.   i am moaning in pain, uncontrollably.  and am starting to panic, because the pain is severe.   bess comes into my room and says, "okay, jessica. you need to go to the doctor.   i am gonna look and see if the walk in clinic is open so you do not have to go to the ER."   i say, "i am just not sure i can walk right now."   she checks and sees that my only option is the ER, she says, "we need to go to the ER, you are starting to scare me."   i agree to go to the ER (when i feel like i can walk).   bess stays in my room, sits on the side of my bed and tenderly rubs my nasty sweaty arm.  i am in pain. so much pain. did i mention that i had 12 girls coming over at 3 pm for a jewelry party?  
i did. and that i had made/prepared brownies, pasta salad, muffins with grapes, pineapples, strawberries, cheese and crackers and chocolate covered strawberries and a little lemonaide.   
i had.
this was happening at 3.
for better or worse.  
it's lookin' worse.
since i have freaked bess out, she stays in my room, since i am thrashing around in pain.  by this time i am freezing from all the sweat and i have asked her to move the fan away from me, please. i do not need you, remember? i have not opened my eyes, only to go to the restroom, since 9:30. something about pain, and your eyes closed just makes it a tad bit better.   i know that i need to go to the ER, but am know there is no way i will make it down a flight of stairs and into the car.  no way. so i have the bright idea, that maybe i should have come up with about an hour ago. i say, "be...ssss....will...you....just pray....for me....please?"   she says, "sure."  and without hesitation says, "god. please take jessica's pain away and make her better."  then she continues to rub my arm. okay, the simple fact that i let her touch me and continue to rub my arm, if you know me, that tells you...i was really not good. within minutes of bess saying "amen," all the pain was gone.  there was no pain. not a hint of pain. nothing.  i felt like i had been beaten, yes.   but there was no pain.  i felt like had been in the bed for weeks, but there was no pain.  i felt like i had run five thousand marathons, but there was no pain. 
i slept for what seemed like hours, in peace.  thirty minutes later, i slowly got up, took a shower, dressed and put makeup on.   thank god for my roommates, together we put all the food out, got everything girly-lookin' for our jewels partay.   i felt like i had been in an ultra marathon.  i was completely exhausted from the morning, but no pain whatsoever.  by 2:00 pm, everything was ready for the party, and i sat down to watch tiger tee off for the final round (and we all know what happened...gooooo tiger!!!). 3:00 pm - party time, i am dressed with makeup on, standing up right and okay.  i am tired, but i am good.  so so good.  and so so thankful. i decided that i had food poisoning. it had to be. i have already had my gallbladder removed.  i have had food poisoning before, remember...with that boy, and this was similar, different and worse.  and i am really glad it's over.  it had to have been the almond butter, i had opened a new jar that morning.  i threw that new jar away.
today.  i am back to normal.  almost.  let's be honest, normal?  

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