going to the chapel: chapter 5

i have decided not to be stressed anymore.


well, at least until i finish writing this.  or if i spell to many words wrong that might make me cry too.

growing up {my brother is twelve years older than me} my brother used to punch me in the stomach when i wasn't looking and then he would laugh at me when i went into five year old hysterics and call me "moanie red eyes, moanie red eyes."  well, good thing he was matured since then because this week, i bring truth to that name.  please don't tell him, i can't handle the abuse.  i am weak.  i am fragile.

no one ever told me planning a wedding was this hard.  NO ONE.  

if you are married and know me.  we are not friends anymore.  

it is hard work.  i repeat.  it is hard work.

when we find the reception venue, i will breath a sigh of relief {and trust me so will brad, because he is tired of dealing with moanie red eyes} and the world can continue spinning but until then.

oh.  my.  goodness.

my name is jessica and i am moanie red eyes.

and as stressed as it all is, here is what i am trying to remember.
1.  i am getting married to the man of my dreams.  lucky lucky man.
2.  he chose me.
3.  it will all work out and be lovely.
4.  hopefully the flower children will be very disruptive and take the focus off of me.
5.  there is a good chance that LD (bridesmaid) will fall.  she does often.
6.  there is a good chance that it might snow, rain, or be inclement weather.  or it could be beautiful.
7.  there is a good chance that i will forget an undergarment.  and we will have to search in a city of 205 people for a replacement.
8.  there is a good chance that i will trip over my words while saying my vows.
9.  there is a good chance i will cry when i look at my daddy.
10.  i will cry.  for sure.  because what's my name again?

moanie red eyes.

see, it is going to be perfect.  fun.  perfect.  our wedding day.

and here is what else i keep thinking through the moanie red eyes tears.

all my life, i have waited to find that someone.  brad.  someone who makes me better.  someone who makes me more myself.  someone who loves me for me.  i have waited, i have been patient and finally i am getting to say "i do" on march 26.

i remember three years ago sitting with a friend by the pool, laying in the sun crying (shocker!) saying, "when?  when is it gong to be my turn?  when?"  and here i am stressing over a wedding.  my wedding. our wedding.  and in all that stress i try to remind myself, "JESSICA, you are planning YOUR wedding.  FINALLY."  

and i smile and am happy.

and then i start crying again.

hi, my name is moanie red eyes and i am a cry baby.

1 comment:

Alicia said...

you can still be my friend. i didn't have a traditional wedding, so getting married wasn't stressful for me....so, you still have to be my friend! :)

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