life is good.

i'm exhausted.

spent.

i don't like to read whiny blogs, or write them and i don't think that i do...but today, pardon me while i digress.


- i have worked more than normal lately.
- wedding planning is at a all time high and makes my brain hurt.
- brad is out of town and i miss him.
- i have way more dirty clothes than clean.
- the house is still in move mode.
- the house is still in move mode.
- the house is still in move mode.

i am tired. spent. exhausted.

and i feel like my attitude is starting to reflect that.

as i was driving home from work yesterday, i was tired and thinking about all i had to do, when all i wanted to do was curl up on the couch and sleep.  i had a friend to meet for dinner, but was struggling.

then it hit me.  it was ME.  imagine that?  ME?  i create my attitude, no one else.  so instead of having the 'woes is me' i decided that it was all about attitude and mine (for lack of a better word) sucked.

so i changed my attitude, as i was driving to meet my friend.  (that was only after i wallowed in my own misery for a few hours. so i'm not the fastest learner...)

this is consciously what i decided to do:  be thankful.  (imagine that.)

1. i HAVE worked more than normal lately.  BUT i have a job.  a good job. a job that i happen to love.  a job that rewards me daily with what i get back as i am giving.  blessed.

2. wedding planning IS at an all time high and makes my brain hurt.  WEDDING PLANNING IS AT AN ALL TIME HIGH AND MAKES MY BRAIN HURT!  read it again...I AM PLANNING A WEDDING.  our wedding!  love has been found and i am planning a wedding to marry the love of my life and my best friend.  wow.  thankful. blessed.

3. brad is out of town and i miss him.  i miss him, because i am about to marry him.  and because he is awesome.  of course i miss him.  lucky me, i have him to miss.  happiness.  blessed.

4. i have way more dirty clothes than clean.  well, this is just true.  we don't have a washer and dryer yet which equals a lot of dirty clothes.  at least i have clothes, lots of clothes that are dirty.  i have clothes, plenty of them.  and even though, there are more dirty than clean, there are still more - and every morning that i look at the multiple piles of laundry, i am putting on another clean outfit. humbleness.  find it jessica.

the house is still in move mode.  the house is still in move mode because as soon as we moved in, we went to vegas to play.  (then 1. and 2. and 4. happened), so it is still in move mode.  but it is 3 minutes from work now, as opposed to the hour round trip i used to drive.  it is big, and more room than we need.  we have a house.  so the house is still in move mode?  so what.  it will get there.  there is no hurry, jessica.  it will get there.  blessed.

so after i changed my attitude this happened, i was driving to the cheesecake factory (again, blessed. blessed that i have a car to drive that is warm. blessed that i have a job that affords me the opportunities to eat out anywhere i want) and found a close parking spot immediately.

this never happens.  ever.

then, as i walked in, i saw my friends smile, and the waiter was waiting on us and held the table for us, since i was running a little late.  the cheesecake factory held a table for us.  this REALLY does not happen.

i had an awesome dinner date with my friend.  we talked and talked.  and ate good food and talked some more. and as she told me about her life, i told her about mine and that i had just changed my attitude.

and then she laughed loudly at me.  which made me laugh loudly at me.

and then i laughed some more.

and some more.

life is good.  i just forgot.