taking life by storm and i am a photographer. there i said it.

blogging is my time. it is when i have to turn the television on mute and write and place the picture perfectly so for you, and if one person reads what i have deemed 'just right' for the days post or if two hundred people happen to catch a glimpse of what i have written for the day, that is good enough. because more than anything, i write this for me and get the opportunity to share with you via the internet.

okay, there's my paragraph of the day for deep thoughts.  how'd i do?

i was talking to brad this weekend and today - we actually talk everyday - it's this thing called marriage and forced communication because you live together thing. so we were talking about a tender subject that we keep going back to lately. you know one of those conversations that no matter how many times you put to the very back of the shelf, it always creeeeps its way forward. well, there it was again.

i was reminding him that we have to live life without regret. that we have to go for our dreams and whatever cost it might be. and in the end, life has it's way of taking care of the details. it all does work out eventually. but if it's a dream, it's within our grasp and we have to take that first step and go for it. i am sometimes a know-it-all unfortunately, so of course i was telling him as he listened. "go for your dreams, you can do it babe."

when i lived in my hometown, had just had a life altering change happen in my life, i was working in a bookstore and had just met my now best friend. it was the best of times, it was the worst of times. i was so so sad, but knew i would be okay. a regular customer came in the store and we struck up a conversation. she was married with a little boy and was apparently happy. she was a pleasure and i looked forward to seeing her weekly when she would come in for her childs music class. as i was checking her out that day, she kinda knew what had been going on in my life and she looked at me with a hollow sadness that i had never seen in her and said, "every day i wake up with regret.  i am happy.  i love my husband and little boy dearly, but every day i wake up with regret because i always wanted to be a ballerina in new york and i never ever tried because i was scared. promise me you will never do that."  
i think about her often and think about how no matter how happy she is, she still has regret that she never went for it and pushed her fear aside and tried to lie her dreams. she never went for it.

we have this one incredible life and i am a believer in no matter how big or small your dream is, you have to go for it. you have to push that fear aside and make it happen.

as i was telling brad, of course.

but then i listened to what i was saying and thought maybe it is applicable to my life as well.  ya think? sometimes i am a little slow in the uptake as well.

i am a photographer. maybe i am no where where i need and want to be, but the true talent and love its there, so i went for it.

kinda. i told the people that i thought might be interested all about it, and left a few out, because they are too cool or because they might actually be a photographer and god forbid they judge my work. there i said it. i am going for my dreams. living life with no regrets because i pushed aside something i loved out of fear.

sometimes i have such wise words of wisdom...maybe i should start listening more.

jessicamdukes.blogspot.com

happy weekend.  i think this has been the longest week of my life.

sometimes i tend towards the dramatic as well.

3 comments:

Melina said...

This is a courageous piece. My dream is to be a sketch writer for TV and to live in NY. I live in seattle now and pound on my keyboard, not knowing who is reading. But I'll regret if I don't try my absolute hardest. Right?

Your blog, your space, your photos....are gorgeous!

Melina

thisvalleylife.com said...

my dream would be a photographer or a baker or both why not! i dont know how to go about accomplishing my dreams and i think its what is holding me back the most.
im so glad you went for it!!!!!

jessica dukes said...

melina, do it. go for it. have you applied for jobs? do you write now? how exciting would that be? i love seattle...i just went there not that long ago to visit.

and ashley, girl...i know...it's hard to just go for it, but in the end i think that is where the growth comes, its SO HARD THOUGH!!!

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