the family wash.

when i first moved to east nashville, i told myself it was temporary.  that i would not like it, but make the most of it.  i was a little aggravated with my previous living situation and was desperate to find something cheaper and something fast.

then my mom performed her minnie pearl act at the ryman.
which meant i saw my cousins wife that i never see except for christmas.
and i then i happened to have an extra ticket to a show that i was going to that night.
so i invited her.
so we chatted the night away and she spent the night.
in our chatter, she just happened to mention that she is related to dolly.
as in parton. (enter jessica freak out.)
and i temporarily freaked out and asked her like thirty times if she was sure.
she was sure.
then i deemed her the coolest person alive and my favorite relative.
but she is really not even related.
still, she is my favorite.
then she mentioned that her BFF had a house in east nashville.
i got scared.
because i lived in belle meade, and i was scared of the east side.
and i was attached to my house.
and i hate change.
but i was desperate.
so we called her, her BFF.
a month later, myself and my stuff moved to east nashville.
and i made a home.
my home.

occasionally, well every week, my new roommate...we'll call her steph...would come downstairs and ask me if i would like to go to the family wash for pint and pie night.

1.  i had never heard of the family wash.
2.  i really didn't understand the concept of pint and pie, but did not want to tell her that i was that uncool.
3.  it's east nashville, i am a west sider, i am not going to like this place.  much less go out and contribute.
4.  i do not drink the al-key-hawl so there really is no need to participate in pint and pie night.
5.  what IS pint and pie?
6.  like apple pie?

fast forward a few months later.

i am now a happy resident of east nashville.
i enjoy this place a lot.
the family wash, especially.

and on tuesdays now, braddstudios and i go to the wash (that's what you call it if you live on the east side and are cool...)
here is what we get:
Baked Brie

with jalapeno cranberry relish, honey and toast (yum, ummmmm)

braddstudios participates in the pint and pie for $10 because he is waaaay cooler than i will ever be.
p.s.  the pie part is Traditional Shepherd's Pie

fresh vegetables, ground lamb and beef, covered with mashed potatoes and sharp cheddar cheese with garlic

last night he added a little steak sauce to his pie at my encouraging.  mainly because i like to play with food and i thought it sounded awesome.  i was right.
i like to get the mixed green salad with quinoa.  i still have a hard time pronouncing that, but am convinced it is addicting, and it has green grapes in the salad.  bonus.

i said all that to say, if you are a resident of nashville, east, south, north, west...you should go to the family wash.  the food is yummy and you will not be disappointed.

and if you invite me, the company will be excellent.

and this is just a few of the randomness that awaits you there.  i think the wash might have a hoarding problem, but hey, who am i to judge.

oh, oh oh...and...
you will never believe what happened to me this past christmas.  after finding out that my cousins wife is my favorite relative AND that she happens to be related to dolly...

she went and gave me free passes to dollywood.  just handed them to me all cool like.  can you even believe that?  i have always wanted to go to dollywood and now it is in my near future, seeing that i have to use the tickets by the end of the year.  AND she gave my two, sooooo that means that i get to drag someone with me.  l.u.c.k.y. them.

go to the wash.  the family wash.  you will not be sorry.

i promise.

cross my heart.
hope to die.
stick a needle in my eye.

okay, i am done.

d-o-n-e.

done.

oh the places we'll go.

i went to the east nashville Y this morning. and i do realize this is not a confessional, and i am not catholic, but i feel the need to confess. why am i so anti change? i have been going to the bellevue Y for years now and it is just not condusive any more for me to go there, but still i went. i love that place. today i broke down and gave in to the east side. my heart is in bellevue, not gonna lie. but my running shoes are in east nashville.

end confessional.

at noon i met my parents. mom had a minnie pearl documentary to record (she's a bog deal if you didn't already know) and dad i had some father-daughter time and drove around. since dad's health has been declining, he is even quieter than he was before. we drove around for about an hour...

jessica: well, daddy. i gotta stop right up here and get some gas. i think i will wash the car too. (jessica gets out to pump the gas, reopens the car door and looks at dad) need anything?
dad: naw. (that's no for you city folk.)
jessica: you sure?
dad: you could go get us some snacks.
jessica: okay. (i am smiling, because i am thinking about the rest of our loooong 45 minute journey for which we will need snacks.)
-i get trail mix and peanut m & m's, dad is satisfied-
dad: (eating his trail mix after about 15 minutes.) they sure do keep the lawns pretty in nashville.
jessica: they sure do. how ya feeling, daddy?
dad: i feel okay.
jessica: like a million bucks?
dad: not quite.

and that was the extent of our long drive together today. it was nice.

then we picked up mom and headed to shoneys. (yes, you read that right...) the mecha of restaurant land in nashville and we go to shoneys. you just don't say no to your parents...even if you are the driver...

mom and dad order the stir fry to split which comes with the salad bar. mom preceded to bring back the largest fried chicken breast i had ever seen. she, knowing that it is not part of the 'salad bar' but "it looked so good, i could not resist."

cue the waitress.

mom grabs my napkin from my hand and covers her chicken. like the waitress was gonna see it and take it away.

waitress leaves.

mom continues to devour her large breast of chicken from the salad bar. bones and all in the bowl, i tell mom she might need to cover the bones so the waitress will not see it. problem solved, throws the napkin neatly over the chicken - kinda tucks it in neatly even.

dad being oblivious to the chicken scandal that has erupted at the table because he IS eating his salad...

grabs the napkin that mom had just neatly covered her trail bones with and uses it to wipe his mouth. mom looks at him like he had slapped her, grabs his napkin that she had tucked around his neck ascot style and re-covers the bones.

cue the waitress.

cost clear.

we are at shoneys. so you have to order their strawberry pie. that was the main reason mom requested that we go there... she asks dad what he wants...he says, "i think i want the strawbe..."

"oh look at that hot fudge sundae roy."

cue the waitress.

"ma'am, we want the hot fudge sunday."

dad looks at me. i look at dad.

what just happened?

"well, jessica. looks like we are getting the hot fudge sunday."

"MOM??? dad wanted the strawberry pie!"

we had strawberry pie AND hot fudge sundae at two o'clock on a wednesday afternoon.

as i drop my parents off back at their car. my mom says, "jessica. did you know your tags were EXPIRED!? you need to get that fixed. i wish i would not have seen that" (as she shakes her head in disapproval of her rebellious 34 year old daughter.)

"I wish you hadn't either, mom."