it looks like this magnetized in the middle of the refrigerator:
taking care of me
-regular hair appointments
-nails/facials/etc
-buying things i need
-occasional wants
-workout
i have a servants heart which is a good thing, i know, but the vice of a servants heart or maybe of just a jessica is that she always comes last or sometimes not at all. i don't know where in my thought process that i accepted this as okay or even decided this is who i am. but as long as i can remember, i have made the deliberate choice to take care of everyone else's needs except my own (see occupation: nanny), i love making sure brad has all his needs met, my family that i care for has all their needs met, but sometimes at the end of the day, week, month - i wonder why i am dragging and have absolutely nothing in the tank left for me.
you would think after 35 years of life, it would click and i would change. i mean, i will go months and months and months without a hair cut, or deny myself of something i really do need because i don't feel like i deserve it.
what is wrong with me?
and i have decided this year, i am taking care of me. because taking care of me only benefits everyone around me that i love. i am getting smarter all the time, y'all.
it's not selfish to take time away from brad or anything or anyone else to get my hair cut, or get a facial or workout.
it's not. it's making me better. (say that ten times jessica!)
therapy. i am in self therapy. making myself take time for myself.
AND at the bottom of that list is taking more pictures of me, and then myself and brad. i am always taking pictures of brad (he happens to be the most photogenic person in the world. no lie. he's also really cute.) or little ones or a tree or anything other than me, i will run away flailing to avoid a picture. (imagine that? it's as great and as awesome as you can imagine...) and on working on making me better, and taking care of me - includes taking more pictures of me, and brad and i together.
we have just started this thing called marriage together and i don't want to look back after years and years and think "where was i?" or "i wondered what i looked like back then?"
and maybe i'm not the prettiest. or most photogenic, but i am created in god's image and i need to take more pride in myself. i can do this.
(can you tell this is just one big blog to me?)
i like to call this the no make up look.
i like to also call this the no make up look.
i like to call this the brad and jessica go to a nashville predators game look.
look at all that progress...
i am soooooooo under the table with my hands over my head right now posting all these pictures.
but look...it's only january 12 and i have already taken three pictures with ME in them! and then i am showing someone.
keep me in check, girls.
taking care of me, all of me.
oh, it's soooo on.
