where i come from.

if i think about it for more than a minute it makes me incredibly sad that brad will never know know my father.  

sure he knows him, but he will never know him.

he had early onset dementia by the time we got married and in the past two and a half years since then his mind has slowly gotten worse and worse.  i think i know that god gave me a glimpse of he's the one and your daddy approves early on though just by my dad always knowing brad and when brad wasn't around he would always say "where is brad?  how is brad?" even before greeting me when i would even consider showing up at home without that guy.

when i think about where i come from, who makes me who i am?  i immediately think of jesus and because of him i am who i am.  but i learned his heart by watching my parents first truly have a heart of jesus.  anyone who may read this post and know my mom and dad would affirm this without question.

they always love without bounds.
they never meet a stranger.
they would give the shirt of their back for the comfort of a stranger.
my mom has prepared meals for more people that i could even begin to count, and still says to this day she does not like to cook.  i do not believe her.
i watched them have a daily quiet time.
i saw first hand my dads ragged prayer list that he had had for years and years and years that was longer than any list should be, except a prayer list, and i watched him pray over everything on that list daily.  my husband making that list the day i was born.

i could go on and on, but because if them i am who i am.  if i am even half the woman my mother or father is, i will have considered my life a success.

i can think of no two better humans than to come from.
and god picked me to be their daughter.
some would call that lucky, i believe i'm especially blessed.

full.

if peggy was a model this would be in the front of her portfolio. but alas, she's a poodle with a tail so no modeling in her future.

this weekend we made a quick trip to knoxville.  our friends are expecting a sweet baby boy and had a couples shower which was fun, and brad's little [he's eighteen but i like how little sounds...] brother had just gotten back from a week long church trip so we were anxious to see him and hear some retreat stories...  you know we all have them.

i am always reminded when i go home with brad how great god really is.  this new family that i have had for just a little over two years blesses me every day, and although no one will ever top my parents, if i had to pick parents-in-laws...i could not have picked better myself.  makes me heart full knowing this was the plan all along.

happy monday friends.

p.s.  this weekend i am going to bonnaroo with brad plus 80,000 of my best hippie friends.  i have never been to bonnaroo before and am a little nervous/scared/freaked out/the list goes on... brad DID tell me they have a tent where they will wash and fix your hair so maybe...when the tough gets impossible i'll just go get my hair washed for free.
"oh okay, babe.  you're going to a show?"
"i'll just be in the tent getting my hair washed..."

this should be entertaining to say the least.
i might just have the cleanest head at bonnaroo.

a story from my childhood.

day 18 of the challenge. and we're moving right along.  'Tell a story from your childhood. Dig deep and try to be descriptive about what you remember and how you felt.'

i never was sick much as a child.  i have always had asthma, but as far as a bold, not feeling great, ear infections - not really me.  i will never forget one night, my mom, dad and me, we were all going to our friends bob and peggy's house for dinner.  my brother had already gotten married at this point.  i was eight years old.  

i remember my ear starting to hurt but not wanting to tell my mom because i really wanted to go to dinner at our friends house. after what felt like forever, the pain got worse and worse until i was in tears and telling my mom that i just didn't feel well and that my ear was really hurting.

turns out i had an ear infection in both ears and was running a high fever.

i remember mostly that it wasn't a big deal.  i remember her telling my dad, "you just go on, i will stay here with jessica." and then i remember her slipping my overalls off [the ones in the picture up above] and putting my pajamas on and we laid in my parents bed and she scratched my back until i feel asleep.  

there are so many great stories from my childhood, the one where the frog got loose in the house, the ones where my dad and i recorded my mom dancing and singing, and so many more.  

i just remember feeling so bad that night, but feeling so loved and taken care of...

a simple memory that twenty nine years later feels like yesterday.

and lets be honest, somedays you just need your mom, not matter how old you are.

i am not a morning person and my parents came over at 6:45 am. {yawn}

friday morning, brad had just left for work - it was 6:30 am and i was not planning on telling him that i was going to sneak back into bed and sleep til ooooooohhhhhhhh 8:30... i am not a great sleeper and was just looking forward to a little more sleep, but then i noticed that i had missed a call from my mom.

my dad has parkinson's disease and dementia associated with the parkinsons.  he JUST got out of hospital for having gallstones and pancreatitis so when she calls at six in the morning, it might be an emergency.

i called her back and she said in her southern voice full of life: 

"jessica, we are at shoneys in nashville!  come join us!"  

"oh mom, it's 6:30...i just can't."

i mean, i am a go with the flow kinda gal, but it WAS 6:30 and I DO need my sleep.  give a girl a break. so she said:

"well, we will just come over then.  we'll be there in five minutes."

here's where i tell you, my readers ---- please feel sorry for me and let me whine just a little...please?  it is 6:45 and my parents are coming over.  i am sleepy.  i have pajamas on.  and want to not talk and go back to bed.  so i did what any good daughter would do whose parents decide to visit her at sun up.  put a pot of coffee on, straightened the pillows on the couch, made the bed and threw on some clothes and combed my hair.

i didn't comb my hair.  i was just seeing if you were paying attention.

my mom likes to talk.  i do not like to talk in the mornings.  sooooooo we talked and talked and talked and talked and talked and talked some more.

then i made my parents let me take their pictures.  i figured if you are going to visit me at the break of dawn, if i say SMILE!, you better smile.

and seriously!  when did my parents become cute?  because they just are.  i mean, come on.  they are pretty precious.  i mean, i know they are MY parents, but give it to me.  they are cute.

two facts:
1.  my mom should have been an actress.  i promise you if she moved to hollywood tomorrow she could get a job in a feature film.  she just has IT.  i did not inherit that gene for i do not have IT.  i perform for three kids daily, that's my best audience.  
2.  my dad, since he has dementia - yes, it is sad, but he is suddenly gone from a man of little words to a man who is rather chatty and FUNNY.

and on that note, i was shooting away and he just struck me as funny.  he was standing so straight and soldier like and doing everything i was telling him to do.  "dad, put your chin down.  now look at me.  dad, me.  look at me."  and i started DYING laughing because, look at him!

"mom, move out of the picture real quick!"  

"dad, look at me!"

"jane, why are y'all laughing at me?"
"what's so funny?"  as his thirty five year is literally sitting on the ground laughing.  i am mature, hear me roar.
"you are dad! because you're cute!"

it was not a morning that i had planned but a morning that i will always remember.  it was delightful and glorious.

and i have the pictures to prove it.