even iphone's have issues.

i have an iphone.  it is on drugs.  i do not support this or approve of illegal substances. but still it continues pursuing rebellious ways.  how is it possible that it can take pictures of itself randomly and occasionally?  these pictures below are my actual iphone screen.  see i told you so.  how and why is this happening?
man, i wish i had been calling someone/somewhere scandalous.  this folks, is about as exciting as i get.  not gonna lie, it's a pretty good time.  if you were smart, you would have it programmed in your phone too.  and yes, i am fully aware that michael phelps might have been my screen saver at the time.  no further discussion required. and this happens to be four days before my birthday.  and here, the screen saver is a park in miami.  i am so cultured.  i really just like green.  why is this happening?  why, my dear iphone, are you taking pictures of yourself?  and how, my dear iphone, when the camera is on the back of the phone? and here.   this happens to be the day britney spears was in atlanta in concert.  i needed to go see her.  badly.  but instead, i was too busy worrying about the altered state of my dear old iphone.  which kept me in nashville.  shoot.  hey brit brit...could you keep it going for another year...i promise i will come!!!  
please?
and march 13, ten days ago.  my friend john's birthday and skate party.  i had to work.  i have priorities.  and i hear rehab's not cheap. and daily it is being made apparent that this is where my little black rectangular friend is headed.   p.s. i love you.  (ahhh, that's a real good movie too!!!)

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