tan or tiger?

as thrilled as i was to be going to the beach...as thankful as i was to have a free condo given to me to stay...i still had some trepidation in making some tough decisions. 
anybody who's anybody KNOWS what this weekend is...  YES, my mom is performing in van leer, tennessee.  and YES, the easter bunny will be making several appearances (from what i hear, at least) -dear easter bunny, will you  please bring me a cadberry egg?  thank you, caca - and YES, it also happens to be easter sunday. churches will be full, get there early, people.  not to take away from all those things, especially easter sunday.
but what have i forgotten...let me give you a hint.
green jacket...
YOU ARE SO SMART.  yes, the masters are happening as we speak...errr...write in augusta, georgia.  i love all things golf, and if you love golf...you really love the masters.  green happens to be my favorite color too.  so i have been looking forward to april 9 - 12, 2009 since last year when the master's ended.  and seeing that i was finding myself at the beach on these dates...my dilemma was...wait on it...are you ready???  
do i tan or watch tiger?  stress follows me.  will tiger do okay without me?  will he even know that i am not watching?  does he even care? oh i assure you, he does.  i make a difference in his game. tan or tiger?  i love both about equally, i am not gonna lie.  so i will tan as long as i can, then come in and watch the last few hours of the masters daily.  decision made.  you can not change my mind.  
i need a tan, i am a white girl.  
ahhh.  arriving at the beach on a balmy wednesday morning at 3:45 in the AM, i get in the elevator for my ride to the seventh floor.  during my teleporting to the seventh between too much luggage and trying to keep my eyes open...i notice this taped all nice like to the elevator above the buttons for all the participators in the ride to enjoy:
yes.  it says a lot of things, but what is important for you to know is this:
On Thursday, April 9th and 10th there will be an interruption of the basic cable channels in order to perform a mandatory satellite receiver upgrade. This should be completed by 5 pm on the 10th.
is this even happening?  i am depressed.  i have been forced to tan.  i wanted to make my own decision.  and tiger...i am so sorry.  please pretend that i am watching every minute and perform accordingly.  
do you feel sorry for me?  because you should.

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