last year i accidently fell in love.

i didn't mean for it to happen.  although i wasn't resistant to the idea.  but just thought maybe, perhaps, my chances at love had come and gone. i had missed out and such is life.  i was getting used to my life without love.  i had love by my girlfriends and every child that i had ever encountered but thought that deeper connection just might have passed me by while i was too busy wiping a nose or caring for a child.

let's be honest, i went the route of special education in college - maybe i should have taken a few more agricultural classes or hung out with the fraternity boys - because we all know that love was probably just waiting for me to walk in...  then after wiping more noses and bottoms than i can count, decided that maybe, just maybe hair school was the way to go.  ummm, yeah there was not a match there either, which is weird, because there are plenty of men in the hair industry.  needless to say, after being a beauty school drop out, i still found myself without.

i wasn't sad.  i wasn't empty.  i was happy and content for the most part.  on most days.

but there was this one day.

my boss and i were in florida on an eight week epic journey.  while we were in florida that year, i celebrated a birthday.  and as we got to talking that night - suddenly i found myself in tears asking myself what i had done wrong in my life to bring me to this point.  why me?  what had i done?  and she listened.  and let me be sad.

all i wanted.  all i desired was to love someone well.  

and to have their love returned.

easy, right?

then i saw him.  how can you love someone you don't know?  you can't.  but i was attracted in a "man, you are cool and i really want to talk to you."  there was nothing else.  he was this guy that i needed to talk to and moreover wanted to be his friend.  i tell myself there was nothing else, because could there really have been?  because faster than slowly i found myself falling.

all i wanted.  all i desired was to love someone well.  

and to have their love returned.

and as emails turned into a kinda friend.  a kinda friend turned into a real friendship.  a real friendship turned into a best friend.  and a best friend turned into love.

and

all i wanted.  all i desired was to love someone well.  

and to have their love returned.

and as i cried that night in the bathroom with my two best friends telling them that i was falling hard for this guy and i didn't know if i should. knowing that my heart was already gone.  that night they told me to take a chance and let go.  fall hard, it would be worth it.

i fell.

and today a little over a year later i can tell you that...

all i wanted.  all i desired was to love someone well.  

and to have their love returned.

and it happened to me.