random things you need to know.

1.  once when my roommate and i were driving home, when we arrived at our house, the SWAT team was hiding in our bushes, guns drawn.  i encouraged forcefully my roommate to continue driving.  she pulled in the driveway.  she got out of the car and started asking questions.  dumb. i stayed in the car.  smart.

2.  today i put a high chair together.  top to bottom.  i have no children.

3.  from the time i was born until my brother got hitched (when i was seven); i remember wrastlin' with him every evening until i would a) wet my pants  b)  start crying hysterically  c) both which would end with him calling me moanie red eyes.  and no matter what my mom always took up for him.

4.  when i was in kindergarten and my brother was seventeen, all i wanted to do was be cool enough to let me watch he and his friends play basketball.  this seldom happened.  when i got my first annual, i remember being so excited because i could get his cool friends to sign my year book.  when time came for them to sign my year book - my brother told them to write "to a little brat named jessica."  and they did.  all my hopes and smiles turned into a fit.  which resulted in him calling me moanie red eyes.  in front of all his friends.  i still have not forgiven him.

5.  my parents traveled locally singing in churches when i was little.  and my dad would hold me when they performed.  my dad is also a recording artist for he made a record.  he is that cool.

6.  once my dad got a small tape recorder and while my mom was cooking one night in the kitchen we decided to sneak and record her.  she started singing, "these are little tarts that make you fart..."  and she being the southern lady that she is was horrified that we successfully recorded her saying such horrific words.  (thank goodness she doesn't read my blog.)

7.  every year when it was time to go shopping for new school clothes, my dad would give me fifty dollars and every year thought i would get a whole new wardrobe with that fifty dollars.  thank goodness for my mom.

8.  when my brother got married, i was so wounded that i was not given a corsage that someone made a special trip to kroger to get me one.  so maybe i was bratty, but he DID call me moanie red eyes and the least my family could do was get me a stinkin' flower...i was glad to be rid of him!  after they said "i do" their friends threw them in the swimming pool, tux and all.  it was the greatest day of my life.

9.  when my nephew ethan was born i cried for three days because he was a boy.  i love you ethan!

10.  i would like to be a make-up artist, photographer, interior designer and nanny on most days.  my brain needs a break.


Lacie said...

Ha! You're funny, Moanie Red Eyes.

Alicia said...

i'm totally looking jane up and telling her that you told everyone in the blogosphere that she sang "these are the tarts that make you fart"!!! i'm doing it! just you wait! btw, you make me smile, even if you are moanie red eyes!

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