jakey.

as a nanny, one of your many jobs is to be the calm in the storm.  when life is crazy for the family that you nanny for, when your life is crazy - you are to remain calm and give the children that are entrusted in your care the best you have.  no matter what.  there is no time for a bad day when you have little ones that you are responsible for making their day normal...routine.

when i nannied for my family from clarksville, when their baby was born - he was sick.  very sick.  the parents and myself (as their babysitter) knew that henry was going to be in the hospital for a long time.  instantly, it was understood that my job when i became the nanny was to make the his siblings (one and three at the time) lives as normal as possible.  keep them in their every day routine while his parents had no other choice than to be occupied with keeping their newborn alive.  i was the calm in their storm.

it's not always fun.  it's not always glamorous, but touching lives daily and trying to make these three little ones that their parents have entrusted in my care well balanced children to become well balanced adults is a job i take seriously.

yesterday the little fellas dog died.

he was the family dog long before there was a 'family.'  he was their eleven year old boy.  he was also a small horse.  maybe a normal size donkey...

yesterday after a few days of just not acting right, we took him in and the vet came back with news that no one ever wants to hear.  jake had cancer and it was in his spleen, there was no bringing him home.  no goodbye for the little fellas, he is gone.

so yesterday, not only was it their mom's birthday - she had to put her eleven year old pup to sleep. forever.

sad.

and this is when 'operation jessica' kicks in:  no matter what, you make their day normal.

and that is what we did.  we roller skated, shrinky dinked, wii'ed and played indians and knights til our hearts were complete.  we even got a visit from mr. bwad which always makes for a better day for the three little ones here.

except, yesterday when mr. bwad pulled up, there was no ravenous barking,  no dog on the attack.  he knocked, four faces greeted him, no pup.

and in the silence of me NOT saying, "jake!  no jake.  jake.  jake.  leave it.  jake.  you know him, jake.  jake, why are you barking?  jake!"

i was sad.  really sad.  but with six hands tugging at you, needing you, wanting you -

i just thought about jake in dog heaven with millard filmore (that was my dog growing up - and yes, he was also the thirteenth president. the man. not my dog).

millard was a country dog; he always needed some civilization brought into his life and i think jake is just the dog for the job.

RIP jakey.  this house will miss you.