to UNO or not to UNO?

i love my mom and dad, i do.  a lot.

but sometimes, just sometimes when i think of this incident i still get mad at my mom.  like real madness, i probably need to go to therapy for this issue seeing that i am about twenty years i write.  lucky you.

yesterday i had to use this story as an example when i was talking to someone and thought it was time to out her publicly and on the record blogger.

my mom has a thing with closet doors.  (as do i now, thank you mom)  they need to be shut at all times.  no exception to the rule.  none.  i think she would prefer you go completely into your closet to find your desired garment and shut the door behind you while you are deciding, rather than keep it open.  it is her thing.  just like closing blinds are my thing.  i hate closed blinds and pulled curtains.  more on this later.

hi.  i am jessica.  and i have issues.

growing up, and open closet door would send her into orbit.  i never ever did this on purpose.  i promise, i was sixteen, i was distracted.  i had better things to do than close my MY closet door.

what's the big deal, mom?

she told me the deal was one night in the form of a whole deck of UNO cards.  i hate UNO.  thank you mom.  i was in the den on a friday night, hanging out with my parents and she asked me to clean my room.  i told her (i am sure in a very hateful tone) that my room was clean. (and for the record - it was) and she said, "i said go and clean your room."  and again i told her that it was clean.

together we went into my room.  it was clean.  boo ya!  my closet door on the other hand was open.  and an open door of the closet...well, she said, "i'll show you clean!"  and took the stack of UNO cards that were on my bedside table and threw them all over my room.

really?  did that just happen?

it did.

i said, "i AM NOT cleaning those up."

she said, "you MOST CERTAINLY are, YOUNG LADY."

and then and there, i got down on my knees and cleaned up the entire stack of UNO cards that had been flung all over my previously clean room sans the closet door...twas open.

to this day, when i bring this story up, always in front of people, of course.  she gets a sparkle in her eye and laughs and says, "jessica, i would never do that."

only she and i know, that.  is.  not.  the.  truth.

speaking of, i can't wait to bring this up the next time braddstudios and myself are in clarksville and watch her squirm.

there was not a life lesson in that your tantrum MOM, other than the fact that i learned that no matter what...rooms look better if the closet doors are shut.

gotta go, gotta go check my closets.

shew.  and today marks another day that i am thankful my mother does not own a computer.

because i am sure she still has that stack of UNO cards, shuffled and ready to explode.

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