i am sorry that i cheated. i really am.

i really did.  it hasn't even been that long and i thought i could be faithful to the very end, but, i, in fact, cheated.  and it happened today.  well, yesterday to be exact, since you are just reading this today and this was written yesterday.  are you confused?  yeah, me too.  

back to me being a cheater.  it's a hard thing to admit, but i did it.  i promise it has only happened once, but it happened.  and i am sorry.

kinda.  not really.  a little guilt...maybe.
hope you haven't slammed your computer down and are still reading...because i am a cheater, yes.  a cheater on my DIET!  that is all.  

chill. out!

eleven days ago i started the 17 day diet, after a friend of a friend had some crazy results and i decided to give it a whirl.  i say that all casual like its just another day in the park and it's really not that bad.  i promise.  but i am kinda robotic once i make up my mind to do something.  and cheater i am not (except i am now).

in the past eleven days i have lost eleven pounds.  (that sounds all cool like i planned that...i did not.  i promise.  i would rather report twenty, trust me.  that would be cooler.)  i know, i know, i know, I KNOW.  if you loose it too fast, it just comes back, don't tell me that, i know.  i do.  trust me, its been my life's mission to try every "diet" in the history of the world.  

that and find a husband.  see how long it took me for the latter?  i give up.  wait, no i don't.  i just started.

here's the basics:  no complex carbs in the first 17 days, and no sugar after two o clock in the afternoon.  all your carbs come naturally from fruit and vegetables and sugars from the fruit you eat.  you can add truvia to coffee, greek yogurt and whatever you need as your sweetener.  

it is in four - 17 day cycles, thus the name.  i have decided, i am going to do cycle one twice and then move on to cycle two...sometimes i think i am a know it all.  i think this is what i need to do though for real.

and here's the kicker.  i am a terrible sleeper.  i don't sleep great and when i work out, my sleep patterns get worse.  its like a no win situation.  but since i started this "diet" (i hate that word) i have slept better than i can remember ever sleeping...and i am working out!  its really amazing and i have to attribute it to the "no sugar after two" policy.  i am amazed.

today, i had a cookie.  i do not know what happened, i looked and a vanilla oreo was in my hand and then it was in my mouth.  i am not responsible for my actions.  and i am sorry, but when i felt the flavor of real trash sugar in my mouth, i decided to savor every last crumb, since i plan on not being a repeat offender.

so this is the plan.  i will check back in after 17 days and give you the results for me.  i am really enjoying this though, i love having a plan that i can stick too..but am really getting tired off egg whites.  i might start putting green food coloring in them just to say "green eggs" for a few days just to mix things up.  i'm clever like that.
this will be what i look like after five cycles of this diet, i am confident.  and if i do, i am taking a picture just like this with the sweat and glistening perfectly tan.

if i look like that i will.  you better believe i will.  if kirstie ally can come on the oprah show in a bikini at 60, surely i can rock this look at thirty five.

hey, a grirl can dream.  (calm down brad...your wife is about to be too hot to trot!)  

questions about the diet, i would love to hear...advise?  shame on you for eating a cookie...i'll take that too.  but be nice, it was JUST a cookie.

sincerely yours - 
too hot to trot 
(what does that even mean?)


bessie said...

Posh wouldn't eat a cookie....ever. You go girl! 11 pounds is awesome, even if you are a cheater.

Cookie said...

would love to be able to lose 20 to 40 pounds, just not motivated to do it... getting old, too

jessica said...

I know and posh is my hero!!! I have failed. Shell never hire me as her nanny when I move to Hollywood. Ha (I'll just delete this blog first)

And cookie (Jane): do this. It's so easy. You can buy the book "17 day diet" and so easy to follow. No cookies allowed though... :-)

Tiny Toe Creations said...

I started the 17 day diet, then found out I was pregnant and had to stop. So you are doing a great job of losing and it is sooooo damnn hard not to cheat a little. I bought a bar of dark chocolate for cravings. Hang in there girl!!

jessica dukes said...

there IS a section in there that SAYS you should eat a little dark chocolate when you on your period! so i have a sash too, gotta take advantage! congrats on the baby on the way. thats so exciting! :-)

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