so i decided what's better that to just write what is on my heart.
if you have been following my blog for a while, you know my dad has parkinson's disease. it's a mean, cruel disease and leaves the person in inhibits a prisoner in their own body. my dad has had this disease for almost thirty years. now he has dementia - which is even more cruel. it takes your mind and warps it onto something you are not even sometimes knowing what you are saying is not right, you still say it. sometimes my dad will say something crazy (for lack of a better word) and then look at my mom or myself and say, "am i confused again?"
last week, my parents made the one hour drive from clarksville to nashville to visit me. i made them lunch and we spent some time together. dad has always been a quiet man full of wisdom. my mom, on the other hand, is full of vibrance and can carry on a conversation with the best of them. it was weird last week though, it was kinda like the rules were changed, my dad never stopped talking.
never. stopped. and most everything that came out of his mouth was a whisper in volume, he had a lot to say. and he never stopped. i was exhausted by the time they left. mainly because i was straining just to hear dad speak and since he never stopped speaking for hours, it was a chore. the other reason being that he said in his confused state "you can't hear. you keep saying 'huh?'" i would explain to him that the reason i kept saying 'huh' was because he was speaking so quietly and that i could hear just fine! it was him that had the volume issue. and then i would get tickled because here is this man, my sweet daddy, that is accusing me of having the issue here. and then he would want to know why i was laughing at him. this happened times ten.
might as well laugh.
my parents have always been two people to admire. but sitting there on that couch last week as i looked at them, i felt a whole new level of awe of them; but especially for my mother. because love is putting her to the test right now. the better and worse - worse has kicked in and she is passing with flying colors. my brother and i are especially blessed to call her our mom, but dad is even more blessed that he chose her - nearly fifty years ago at that skating rink barefoot, a rebel with two cigarettes hanging out of her mouth - he saw her. three months later they were married. and before i was born and since my birth i have watched their love story unfold.
one thing not to be confused about, my dad knew what he was doing when he chose my mom. because he could not ask for a better wife, nurse and love to daily be by his side.
i'm proud of my mom. i love you.
and on a lighter note, a year ago today this happened. make sure you turn the volume up so you can hear this nanny [me] go a little crazy in the background...i am saying through jealous envy "that IS NOT right..." as little bit takes her VERY FIRST steps to misser bwat. seriously girl. after all the time we spend together, this is what i get.