i judged her. yes. and i really felt no shame.

saturday night brad and i went to a show at the exit inn here in nashville, it was a cool, eclectic crowd with plenty of people in coats and scarfs to die for and just a good mix of people.  early in the evening, i noticed a girl walking out of the bathroom with hair that was too long and not fixed.  her skirt was too short and too washed out denim.  no tights and over the knee boots that were just bad.  her shirt looked like she might had gotten it at a yard sale and not in a cool "oh yeah, this old thing?  i picked it up at a yard sale" cool, but a "i thought this shirt was awesome and i missed the mark" kinda look.  and a sweater, equally as bad.

i judged her.  yes.  and i really felt no shame.
i felt justified.
her outfit was bad.
her boots were worse.
her skirt.  well.

then the heel of her already bad boots broke so she walked with a limp just to keep the boots on her foot and the look of the boot still in place.  and then, of course, she chose me to stand in front of in an already crowded room.  i was annoyed.  with her outfit and more so with the boots.  that had broken.  every time she had to take a step, she would reach out and hold onto her what i assume was her husband so she didn't fall.

i judged her.  yes.  and i really felt no shame.

and as the night continued and i focused on kathleen edwards as she sang, every so often when she would limp to readjust her boot, she would hit me and of course i was distracted again by the girl in the bad outfit in the bad boots.

then kathleen edwards started singing a song with the following lyrics:

You don't talk to me
Not the way that you used to
Maybe I don't deserve
In a way that makes you think I do
I've been wondering
About what we're gonna do
A house full of empty rooms

You don't kiss me,
Not the way that I wish you would
Maybe I don't look at you
In a way that makes you think you should
Still I've been thinking about how it's gonna be
Years are giving [?]

And I'm far from perfect
I'm far from anything but I swear that when we started
I used to make you happy
But I don't know you
Not the way that I thought I did
Maybe you don't know me
And you don't wanna be the first to say
I've been wondering about what we're gonna do
And I've been wondering about what we're gonna do
A house full of empty rooms
A house full of empty rooms


and as she sang, i noticed the girl in the bad clothes with the bad hair crying.  wiping a tear from her eye after each painful line about a lonely and hard home.  leaning on her husband because her boot wouldn't allow her to stand upright.  but not wanting him to see.  but i saw the tears and the hand with the pretty polish that was wiping away tear after tear after tear.


and my heart was saddened.  and my heart was convicted.


and when i reached up to take a picture of kathleen edwards sing as she really felt the song, my arm accidentally brushed her shoulder and she turned to me and looked me in the eyes for a split second and smiled.  and what i saw in return was a girl with a beautiful, gorgeous face smiling back at me.  and as i smiled back at her, i was reminded not only was her face beautiful but her heart was much more beautiful than mine.

 be kind to one another.  
you never know what a person is going through.
and who cares what they have on.
doesn't matter at all.

i already knew that.
and saturday night i was reminded.

18 comments:

Katie said...

thanks for sharing that story. what a good reminder of what we are supposed to do (or not do). I have done the same thing and need to remember that everyone has a deeper story.

Alyx said...

Such a good reminder of something that we're all probably guilty of and need to work on. Thanks so much for sharing!

Lauren said...

I love this...It is beautiful & inspiring.
xo Lauren

Lauren said...

We are all so guilty of this from time to time and think we're perfectly in the right for judging other people because "they've given us a reason". I find almost all the time that the person with something wrong with them is not the person I'm judging but ME - ouch does that hurt to realize that. I feel like we should all try to be un-offendable because it's usually our own issues that leave us offended. I totally would love to blame all my issues on other people, and sometimes I'm reminded that "Hey maybe you need to work on yourself, lady" way too often and that suuuuuccckkkksss.

Crystal said...

So very true! Thanks for sharing!

Lauren said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
jessica dukes said...

i needed to check myself! apparently. :-/

meg said...

this was so beautiful! thank you for sharing.

Kassi at Truly Lovely said...

Time and time again you share the BEST reminders! :)

jessica dukes said...

Stop it kassi! You're gonna make me get a big head and then I'm gonna have to write about humility! :-)

Really. Thank you for the sweet comment. :-)

melissamevans said...

Goosebumps! Seriously....we all judge....this story gave me goosebumps. it's so true and such useful knowledge and it's so simple: to just be kind to one another. Sometimes it takes time to realize this. Great post!

Ashley said...

What a great reminder. We all need to stop and take a step back. I try so hard not to judge people, but we are all guilty of it sometimes.

Ashley said...

What a great reminder. We all need to stop and take a step back. I try so hard not to judge people, but we are all guilty of it sometimes.

jessica dukes said...

we do. i do. i know better. thanks again for reading girls. i really appreciate it.

Renee said...

This post makes me want to cry. Very good post. Very good.

The Arizona Russums said...

so true. i hate how often i judge strangers. and how often i am always in a rush and don't stop to help people during the day.

Nicole said...

Awesome post. Thanks for sharing! Your blog is cute too (:

Dave Carlson said...

Another excellent rule of the universe: Enjoy every moment you get to spend in the presence of Kathleen Edwards.

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