mothers day has always been an odd day for me. i am sure no one has given thought to me and my parenting skills, seeing that i am not a parent nor a mother, but for a nanny, mothers day, well...like i said odd.
i am not a mother but i have experienced the depths that a sick baby can do to your life. the depths that when that sick baby is sleeping and his pulseoximeter goes off, you run across the room in the middle of the night bumping into any and everything in your panties and t-shirt to pick up that sweet child and hold him close until the numbers are up again.
i am not a mother but have watched that same baby be loaded up in the car weeks and mother after open heart surgery and taken to the emergency rooms because the night was not his friend. i was the stand in mom then, for the other two babies, his siblings, who were too little to be awoken in the night to know that their baby brother was sick again.
i am not a mother but have watched that boy go from being a baby with braces to being a four year old boy who takes his first steps across the room. i have watched miracles.
i am not a mother but i have had many a share of sleepless nights because someone just won't sleep. so i've rocked, and caressed, and held, and cried, and rocked, and caressed, and yawned, been frustrated all night long until sleep found whoever i was rocking, or sleep did not find them and we waited for the first break of light and decided it was okay to be awake.
i am not a mother but i am a potty training professional. and have patience and can potty train with the best of them.
i am not a mother but i have cleaned poop and pee up from any where and everywhere because...it happens. and that's what you do.
i am not a mother but i have changed diapers on more little bottoms than i could probably count. and i can change a fast diaper.
i am not a mother but i have kissed boo boos and had the children of those boo boos run to me when their mama was not there, i have wiped their eyes and told them it was okay over and over and over again until they believed me.
nannies don't get days. we don't get a holiday. we don't get praise.
we are just there. constant. in the ever changing days of this crazy life.
hoping to make the days, weeks, and months a little easier on the family that we love.
maybe one day god will bless me, and i'll get to be a mama, but until then...
i'll do the second best thing.