weighty subject.

'get real, tell us something you are really struggling with right now.' said day 19 of the blog challenge.

my weight is a constant struggle for me, from as long as i can remember i have been on a quest to be thin.  to be pretty.  to be... you get the point.  i always felt like when i was thin, i would be pretty and i would have all those things that i lack.

except one time i was pretty thin, and everything stayed the same.  

then i gained it back, lost more again...and so the story goes.  i can not begin to tell you the brain power that i have spent in my lifetime trying to find that sweet spot and then staying there and maintaining.
and sticking to something?  i have an extra special ability to stick to something.  

since late last year i have been focusing on eating clean and become more aware of what is going in my body and committing to exercise hard consistently.  monday (today) i am going to add a morning tabata to my routine and start some carb cycling.  nothing really different than i am doing now, except actually eating more carbs! holla!

i learned a long time ago, after eating only eight grams of fat per day for about a year and loosing a TON of weight that fad diets, crash diets don't work.  eating clean and working out shockingly do.

late last year i half jokingly told brad, "i'm either getting really fat [pregnant] or really skinny this year!"

it is just always going to be my cross to bear, even when i am at that perfect weight and look and feel great.  weight is always gonna be my constant struggle.

and it is my responsibility TO BE responsible for my health and to be the best me that i can be.
i will get there.  i will.  
and then i will maintain.  i will.

i am currently reading and studying chris powells new book choose more, loose more for life.  if you have a ton of weight to loose or just a little even, it is a great read and great motivator.


3 comments:

tiffany arellano said...

I love getting fast results. If I don't see any results in say... a week at the most, it's not working. I hate that about myself but it stuck to me when I first started going to the gym. I worked my butt off at the gym going twice a day for five days a week. I saw results, yes.. but I began doing other drastic things such as crash dieting!

That was three years ago though... I'm pregnant now so my workout routine has changed but I've replaced my obsessive need for a two hour cardio (this just for one of two gym visits every day) for a 20 minute cardio, 40 minute weight training, and a healthy diet! As mentioned, this way has worked so much better than my previous attempt at killing myself in the gym.

Leelee said...

I struggle too. I had huge success on a really rigid exercise routine last year, but gained back a small portion of it in recent months. Even though I am still way healthier than I used to be, I keep beating myself up about this setback.

jessica dukes said...

tiffany, you go girl! thats awesome!
when are you due??? yay babies!

leslie, dont beat yourself up. i feel like girls are to hard on themselves sometimes...its so hard. be encouraged. you can do it. and look what you have already done!

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