hello from room 4228.

i started writing this blog while visiting my dad in the hospital last week,  the original post date was to be wednesday, seeing that was the day i was writing it...  but then the physical therapist came in two hours after surgery and she weighed one hundred pounds soaking wet, and dad weighs one hundred eighty - dry as a bone.  and she thought it would be a good idea to take him for his first walk in seven days.  

needless to say, i decided sitting and writing this here blog might not be as beneficial since i needed to supervise this girl take my unsteady dad on a stroll.  lord help, i was nervous.  i looked at my aunt after he was upright and said, "does this make you are nervous as it is making me?" she nodded her head, while we never took our eyes of of dad.  and he did it, he walked out of the room and then turned around and walked back to his bed, he had a walker and a little bitty physical therapist as his aid...but HE did it.  

it's a interesting experience being on the other side.  my whole life, my dad has been my cheerleader, giving me the atta girls any time i looked his way, and always telling me i was a winner and that he loved me.  dealing the hand of encouragement whenever i needed it, or even didn't - always acknowledging my successes and watching me succeed.  and as i took those baby steps toward those goals, i always knew i could look back and with a sparkle of proudness in his eye he would be cheering me on, except that's been me this week.

"you are doing good dad.  wow, dad, you are really doing great!  your balance is so good, you are awesome."  he needed to hear those words and know that he was a success, that he is doing it.  that he is healing and getting better.  and with me being proud of him, i could tell it made a difference in that moment.
when mom left on thursday to go home for a quick shower, dad asked ten times when she was coming back.  after nearly fifty years of marriage, she is his constant and he needs her by his side.  after four months of marriage to brad, i get it.  i got why i might have been in that room, why my aunt might have been in that room, but it was still empty because mom was not there.  and when she came back and she said, "hi baby" as she bent over to answer the never ending phone, his cheek graced her arm and he leaned in just to feel her touch and cried like a newborn baby because suddenly the room was full again.

dad is home now and still healing, surgery as is life, is just harder on him having advanced parkinson's disease, but when you are as strong as my dad,  life can hand you lemon after lemon and all that does is make the lemonade that much sweeter.

this was my life according to instagram last week.  i missed my friday post, so you get it on monday.
lucky you.
kids, my hot husband, my sweet dad and a bon iver concert thrown in for kicks.  


Darla said...

Oh your Dad posts make me so miss my Daddy and the fact that he's across the continent. My folks just hit 34 years and we just hit our 10 mark. I hope at our 50 I'm just as attached to him. I want to be the wife that reads to her husband their life story like on The Notebook.

jessica dukes said...

you know, i do too. my parents are pretty great. my parents are only an hour away, but you know how busy you get with life...my mom is demanding a 50 anniversary party and has said to me more than once "all i want is a wedding cake!"

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