older and lighter (literally).

a few weeks ago, i wrote this post.  as therapeutic as it was to write and to be real, still a struggle for me to really go there.  but i am all about being authentic and real, and that was just another way to be transparent.  

what happened though was something more than i expected.  people really read that post and really identified with what i wrote, felt my words and commented with "i feel ya" or encouragement.  i bragged and bragged on the fitness pal app, and i feel the same way about it today.  if you struggle with your weight, it needs to be your best friend.  trust me, i speak from experience.

trust me.

i told you in that post that bessie and i were keeping each other accountable, the goal was to work out at the least five times a week for 30 minutes minimum.  i mentioned our reward system, etc.

the first month our reward was go to the local vineyard for a relaxing day of fun and celebrating meeting our goals.  yet, we still were recording our day in the fitness pal app---so had to take it easy on the vino.  one of my goals for the new year was to learn more about wine so it was kinda kill two birds with one stone, educational yet rewarding field trip.  done and done.

danielle has since came on board, so now it's a threesome attacking the whole health and fitness regime like it's nobodies biiizzzzzness.  obviously since we went to the vineyard, we met our goal.
-we logged into the fitness pal app.
-worked out at least five days per week for one month.
-a minimum of 30 minutes.
-one day i even burnt 1458 calories. (that was just me bragging)

and i have met so many friends along the way doing this journey with me.  i love the fitness pal app, because i can encourage people from all over the world and tell them they are great and watch them succeed as well.  it really speaks my language.  and it's like all these people are watching me and i can't let them down --- so to the gym i go.  (at some point i nee to tell you that i am not getting paid my the fitness pal app, they do not know i exist, i am just a geeked out fan.)


so here are some pictures from the first reward trip at arrington vineyards.  i lost 10.5 lbs last month.  and my friends, danielle (on the left) and bessie (on the right) have lost as well.  next month, our reward trip is facials.  i can not wait!

this photo session was a bust literally.  we could not stop laughing...see loosing weight and getting healthy is fun!?

another thing this whole accountability thing is doing, making me take more pictures of me (gag!) and then following through with posting them (double gag!).

work in progress.  that's me.

also, sunday was my birthday and we went bowling, except we couldn't bowl because it as full.  so the kids played games in the arcade and we stood around and looked at each other.  that was AFTER, i played skiiball until i was weak in the wrist and then beat bessie at air hockey.  (she let me win, i think, since it was my birthday...)  and then we completed the night with a giants win on pins and needles.

here i am again.

i've struggled with weight my entire life.  (ugh, there i said it) i know more about nutrition, diets, eating right, healthy weight, incentives, the list goes one because my entire life...it has been my life.  

i have ran a half-marathon.  i have trained hard for that half-marathon. and i have felt the feeling of crossing that finish line.  the feeling of having legs that feel like they might just turn into spaghetti with one more step.  but better, the feeling that you just ran 13.1 miles and no one can take that away.  and even better, knowing that to run that far means that you have to be in good good shape.  

i have been there.  

Source: therealityofskinny.tumblr.com via Connie on Pinterest

now i am here.  here where i need to loose weight again.  it's the most frustrating thing. ever.  if you have ever been in my shoes, you totally understand.  

it.  is.  so.  frustrating.  

i have always always let it hold me back.  i know for a fact that my chosen profession was mostly determined because i knew that children and families that you care for are going to love you no matter what.  and if i wasn't a super model or even just "normal" weight, the love is unconditional.  when i met brad, i was at my smallest weight to date.  and i am pretty confident god is in the details.  details like he knew that i would have never ever even dreamed that brad could have been interested in me if i looked like i see myself.  

like i still see myself today.

but this year, i have decided i have to get it together for once and for all.  i have got to let weight stop defining me.  i have got to stop hiding behind it.  i am worth more than that.

so i am doing it again.  only this time for good.  i know it.  i don't want to have to write another post like this.  i want to write another post telling you that i did it.  

that i am proud of who i am.  

proud of what i look like.

i want to be pretty.  

to feel pretty.

Source: ahlanlive.com via Beth on Pinterest

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on the way home from new years, when brad, bessie and myself went on a little ski trip where we didn't ski...bessie and i talked and talked and talked til we came up with this plan.  

with the help of the fitness pal app on our iphones, we were going to track our intake daily.  (do you have the fitness pal app, have you heard of it?  it is awesome.) and keep each other accountable.  

i need that.  

i have always done it alone.

because with my weight comes guilt and shame.

so i force myself to feel really alone.

accountability.  

Source: myfitnesspal.com via Clarissa on Pinterest

and we decided to make it a game (kinda).

here are the rules:

we have to workout five days a week.  no excuses.  five days.

we have to record all of our food on the fitness pal app.

{we can see each others progress this way}

oh crap.

then {the good good stuff to keep us going...}

after four weeks if we both did our part (eating right and working out our five days) we get a reward.  

if one of us messes up and doesn't do our part, then neither of us get the reward...

bessie better get to the gym.  thats all i'm saying. 

rewards thus far:

january - arrington vineyards afternoon

february - facial/body treatment we wound't normally do.

march - new workout outfit (helloooo lululemon!)

{and i think we will just repeat these to some degree after march}

i am so excited about march, not gonna lie.  

Source: believe-toachieve.tumblr.com via Karen on Pinterest

my body is starting to feel the results too.  not only has the gym become a habit again, but it is so fun entering and keeping track of the food i eat and then watch as the scales cooperate with the plan.  so i'm a little OCD...

i have a personal goal (and it's a secret) that i want to be at by august. 

if i get there, trust me...you gonna know.

if i get there?

oh, i am sooo gonna get there.

Source: doctoroz.com via Jessica on Pinterest

so here's to me?  yes, me.  

and that's okay.  

because gosh darn it, i am worth it.

(did you see the SNL when michael jordan had to look in the mirror and say "and gosh darn it, people like me?"  ohhhhhhh my lord, it was hilarious. and just like that i am completely off track...)

help a sister out.  tell me what you do to stay on track.

download the fitness pal app and let's be friends.

i'm jessicamorrison on there.  

Source: allwomenstalk.com via Chelsea on Pinterest

Source: Uploaded by user via Jen on Pinterest

happy thursday, my favorite friends.