happy.

todays challenge was 'a favorite picture of yourself.'

this one was easy, not so much because i looked awesome and hot but because of the memory it represents:  but isn't that with all pictures?

the memory:  we were leaving our wedding heading to the hotel (well...) and then later headed to hawaii. i can not tell you the emotion i was feeling in this picture.  oh wait, i can.  pure elation, happiness and i can not believe this is me.  it was a moment i will never ever forget.  the best moment by far in my entire life to date.

and that guys hand i was holding.  hot. and mine.

and the amount of tan on my body.  lets not talk about that.

dreams.  they really do come true.

what really matters...talking about relationships.

i was just talking to a friend the other day and we were talking about female relationships and the ebb and flow of those relationships.  i was telling her that friendships are a lot like life.  when i was in high school, i had a ton of girlfriends that if you would have told me when i was thirty-six (it's true...) we would not talk every day, i would of course thought you were crazy.

then when i was in college, same deal.  i made friends that i still hold dear to my heart, but we talk on facebook occasionally, but aren't involved in the day to day.  

hair school.  the same.

and now that i'm married, i want to spend most all of my time with brad.  he naturally became my best friend as we got to know each other and then get married.  and still after a year, i desire to be with him. to spend unfiltered quality time with him.  i was telling my friend that i feel like you have to be wise in where you choose to spend your time.  for example, if it is time away from brad, i want it to be time that  i feel fulfilled and don't feel like i am wasting my time, when really i would rather be with him.  and yes, friendships i desire and need.  i am a girl, afterall.  

what i don't need...is to be in the cool crowd.  i don't need to be that girl that is always getting a text from one of her thirty best friends pulling her in thirty different directions.  i don't need to be that girl that is too busy with my friends to be with brad.  sure, i have a ton of friends, friends that i value and cherish.  between working a ton, being in a relationship and wanting my husband to feel filled up with love---my time needs to be spent wisely.  i need to be a good stewart of that time.  it's up to me.

and one girl that never disappoints----is this girl.  

monday night after a failed attempt to have a dinner with six, it ended up just being me and her.  it was a random surprise and such an enjoyable night, she brings so much to my soul and i love her and her heart.  

i feel like as women it's so easy to get sidetracked with drama, other people, gossip (dare i say it...), and it's easy to forget to focus on real relationships.  and what really matters...

how do you keep it all in focus?  

my life in picture.

so i got married and stopped blogging.  what is wrong with me?

 i went to see the flaming lips twice in one week and didn't tell you about it.  i am sorry.  (p.s.  two years ago i had never heard of the words flaming and lips in the same sentence.  today, i can say i have been to three shows and have the hatch show to prove it.)

 i've been hanging out as much as i can with my crush.  this guy.  and haven't told you all about my life as a married.  i am so ashamed.

 i singlehandedly taught her how to open a hershey kiss AND throw her trash away.  and you didn't get as much as a picture.  tweet...nothing.  i am a loser.

 justin bieber rides around in a stroller in the house.  i have bieber fever.  this deserved a blog.  again, i am sorry.

 sometimes when i get to work, he doesn't have his hat on, so i help him.  again, you should know this.

 michael had a birthday and i didn't get him a bieber doll.  he should count his blessings.

...although the doll DOES sing...

be jealous.  please?

 mr. bwad and i took lil bit to knoxville to spend the night.  

 and she tried her best to figure out this thing with the curly cord was...

again, blog worthy.  i am not worthy.

 the little fella forgot to brush.  all year.  

he turned into a vampire with bad teeth.

he is brushing now, thank you edward.

p.s. i am team edward.

 this happened and it was especially cute.

aren't you starting to count your lucky stars i decided to be an active participant in my blog?

i know, i know.

 cicadas took over nashville, footballs and everything that is tied down and outside. no need to tell you that, i am sure you can hear them.  but i could have written all about them.  because...welll...

aren't you glad i didn't?

 i told the boys to go put on their socks for school. 

i did not specify short socks.

so for the day, they were in the nerd herd.

don't tell them.

 we went to the adventure science center.  and there was a transformer display.

forget the planets and stars.

i know, you should have known this.

well, now you do.

 we got a dog.  well, the little fellas and lil bit got a dog.

this is as active as he gets.

his name is chance.

i am constantly saying, "no chance!"

i am worried lil bit is going to grow up with self esteem issues derived from her nanny.

because all she hears me say is, "no chance!"

geee, thanks a lot, NANNY.

 green teeth lost his first tooth.  and lived to tell about it.

 justin was naked when i got to work and i dressed him quick, fast and in a hurry.

he owes me.

 she decided to wear her jammies much like elvis and his jump suits.

so i called her elvis all morning.  she didn't get it.

i think i am hilarious. 

p.s. that is the first time i have ever spelt hilarious right without spell check.

shameful.

 i bought this pillow for the living room because it looks like the floor in the red room on twin peaks.  most of you did not understand that sentence.

i got MAJOR points with mr. bwad.

major.

p.s.  that is not the first time i have spelt major right.  promise.

 i pretended that lil bit was michael jordan just for a minute and we were hanging out.

then i remembered where i was.

and she took the headband off and never dunked the ball.

 the boys successfully completed preschool.  and are amped for kindergarten.

they think they have become waaaay cool.

i didn't tell them that waaaay cool does not involve wearing pajamas to school like they did on their last day.

i also didn't remind them that i was their nanny.

we are in the nerd herd.  together.

 we went to the car wash.

a clean car is not important to her.  apparently.

 one of the little fellas asked me to sew him a doll exactly like that.

to be continued...

 she's still real cute.  really, she is.

 our blankets smell like dog.  this is why.

and

i started decorating our house.

see, no time to blog.  at all.

but i am going to do better promise.

pinky swear.

its the little things...

it really is the little things in life that matter.

while brad and i were vacationing in maui on our honeymoon, there were so many things that were incredible...it was our very first public outing as husband and wife, so that in itself was fun.  it was fun to hear me when asked, "and ma'am what is your name?" stutter and say, "jessica moorrrrrdukes."  it was nice to do whatever we wanted whenever we wanted and occasionally when i would catch a glimpse at brad's hand, see a ring that i had given him when we began our lives together.  

the little things made our trip complete.  walking together on the beaten path and him reaching out for my hand.  i belong.  i am loved.  i am needed.  

because brad is braver than me and i pride myself as a chicken  someone older and wiser (no comment please), i decided that him surfing would be the best choice, because there was no way i was going to die by a shark bite or drowning in the 20 foot waves.  instead i would be his loving and supportive wife and stand aside while he had all the glory and take his picture (aka...jessica is a scaredy cat), i led him to believe that it was wiser for us just to spend the money on him (not "are you crazy...i don't want to DIE before i've been married a week!?")

"sure honey, i think it would be fun to surf, but you just do it.  i want to take your picture.  i love you."

convincing, huh?

he bought it and went on about his merry way.

sucker!...i mean, surfer!

after a little stroll through the little village where his lessons were, i found him with thirty of his other closest friends, young and old trying their best to paddle, paddle, paddle, pop! and get up to standing to surf...  

and as i walked up, there he was up on his surfboard catching a wave like he was a pro.  

after about ten minutes, he caught sight of me and he did this...

he threw his hand in the air and waved at me.  and then i waved back, then he blew me a kiss and i gave him the thumbs up sign.  

and that folks, might have been my very favorite moment of the entire week.  

acknowledgement.  i belong to her.  she belongs to me.

it will be a moment i remember for the ret of my life.

as busy and as in the moment as he was, he was not too busy for me.

**and take note of that 20 ft. water he is STANDING in...

you make me feel like somebody loved...

-the weepies