cupcakes with sprite.

she likes doughnuts and milk every monday after ballet.  

her cookies with apple juice.

and her cupcakes with sprite.

(except she doesn't like sprite)

at least that's what she told me today.

defining moments.

i was in my senior year of college and doing an observation in a special education high school classroom, it was a class of about ten with students who were lower functioning.  on my first day in the classroom, i had no idea what to expect.  a young man dressed in denim long shorts, a tshirt and thick glasses came running in the classroom, knocked my purse off my shoulder but didn't even notice or see me, he was looking for the teacher.  as soon as he saw her, he said, "teacher, teacher, coach said i could come and play basketball with the team if i am finished with my work!  am i finished with my work?"  the teacher looked at him with nothing but love in her eyes and said, "you are finished, go play ball."  and he ran out of that room quicker than he came in.

she looked at me without missing a beat as i was still in the doorway and said, "he's not finished with his work, but there ought to be some perks in life..."  

that was a defining moment for me.  and something i think about often.  kindness.  she was kinder to him than she had to be, and made his day.  i want to have that heart, be that kind.  i want to teach the kids that i nanny for by example to have that heart as well.  i want to teach my children to have that heart.

i just needed to get that out.  consider that a prequel to the actual post.  a commercial, perhaps.  but i promise to tie up the loose ends and bring it all back together.

just the other day, i just had one of the little fellas.  the other was at his grandmothers for a few days and sister was at a little girls day camp.  never do i get them one on one, and we had big plans.  he wanted to go to cracker barrel for breakfast and then go all tony hawk to a skate park. 

concrete + four wheels + six year old = ouch

that's what i saw, what he saw was success.  easy.  i knew it would be tough for him, humbling and take a few knocks out of that superb self esteem but i wanted him to try.  never did i let on that this was going to be hard, impossible even, we were both thrilled to have the morning.

"ms jessica, i don't think i need the elbow and knee pads, i think i will just wear the helmet." he said as soon as we got out of the car, because after all, what do i know about a skate park?  i didn't say anything, just walked with him and the closer we got, the bigger and more real, the skatepark got.  "i didn't know these parks were for such big boys."  as a olympic hopeful tripled jumped twisted i have no clue how in the world jumped right beside us.  "it'll be okay, buddy.  but let's put those elbow and knee pads on just in case."  here's where i had to give him the confidence that i could feel him loosing and assure him that he could do it.  

and i can talk something to death.  ask my friends.  he was scared.  "listen, you see those big boys (i was talking loud hoping one would skate on over to assure this little buddy), they are big.  when they were six they fell a ton.  let's go over here, no one is over here and i will help you.  i know you can do it."

and then we found a hill that seemed more possible than impossible and down he went.  he stayed on the board and didn't fall.  stars in his eyes.  

he was intimidated, but didn't feel so defeated after successes.  

and then he did it again and fell.  and fell.  hard.  

"i hate skate parks!  erase those pictures!  erase the video!  i am terrible!  i want to leave!"

and as soon as we talked and he regained control, we left.  "are you sure you don't want to try one more time?  you were doing really good."

he was ready to go.  so we left.

he cried and cried.  a hard cry, a sad cry all the way home.

and i beat it to death, for thirty minutes, "you were so good.  skating is hard.  but you did it.  you did.  i can erase the pictures and the videos, but i think when you see them you are going to be so proud of yourself.  i am proud of you for trying.  and you need to remember those big boys were little once too, and they feel a lot.  you didn't even fall that much.  i think you were awesome"  told ya.  i can wear a topic out.  

a few hours later and after i bragged to his parents in front of him how good he was, he gave me permission to keep the pictures.  and when i showed him his successes, he was proud.  but, "ms.  jessica.  i think we don't need to go back there until i am eight."

eight it is.  we'll pad those limbs and give it another go.  

one of my defining moments was when that teacher was especially kind to her student.  and maybe, just maybe, one of the kids that i have had the honor of growing and help rear, they will look back on something i said or did, and have a defining moment of their own.

life is hard, you fall, you have to get back up.  but it's always easier to get back up if you have a cheerleader in your corner.  even one that might talk to much...

on tuesday i lost my mind.

my word.  for some reason, i lost my mind last weekend and thought i could redesign my blog in new, fun colors.  an hour later, i shut the computer, had no header (and left it that way all week) and wanted to cry.  that superb attitude carried on throughout the week, hence the lack of post.

i was mad at my blog.  we almost broke up.
then we had a comin' to jesus.
i decided to change my attitude, and what you see is the new result.
(after five + hours of labor)

if you charge a fortune for blog design...GOOD.  you are worth every penny (i say, go higher!), because this girl who has no clue what in the heck she is doing...thinks you are really really smart.  i didn't get your brain, but i could babysit your baby with the best of them.

i promise to improve my mood (and my blog) by monday and then the world (or morrison lane, rather) will be a happier place.

p.s.  i also am going on less than three hours of sleep and no coffee and am blogging to you from inside in a bathing suit.
see, told you = lost my mind.

thank you LORD, it's friday.

have a good weekend, friends.
what do you think of the new design so far?
i thrive on input.  talk to me.

11.11.11, instagram, friday...finally.

this week we've had some...

highs...

this week we've had some...

lows...

but through it all...

we've tried to sit back and ponder

the highs...

like...

making pretty invites by hand for my parents 50th anniversary.  and i actually like them!  now time for the printers...


new tall boots.  in camel.  for thirty five dollars.  and they are cute.  i'm excited about these pretties.


a new camera.  well...it's not new.  at all.  but it's vintage, and new to me and pretty.  i have ordered some film for this fella, i can't wait to see the beauties that it produces.  or the uglies if it doesn't work that well...and then it will just be a decoration which still is perfection.  cross your fingers!


buds.  i mean i could not have styled this picture better.  he is paying her NO attention at all and she could care less.  she is happy to be tucked under his arm.

happy friday.

happy 11.11.11.

happy instagrams.

and most importantly...

happy veterans day.

instagram friday.

its friday, finally - and i am linking up with life rearranged for instagram friday...and posting my instagram photos for the week...but since i have never done this before i am playing catch up! come have a look.

1.  this one of the first day we ventured out to swim...and her bathing suit was so precious.  i think i titled the instagram "how many ruffles does your bikini have?" haha

2.  i snapped this about five minutes after we were married.  we were in the back of the car on our way to the reception, and i think brad looks so so so happy.  what a good moment and a good day.

3.  last week, i met brad for lunch at mcdougals in franklin, tn and the decor was awesome.  next time, i will bring my real camera.  for sure.

4.  lil bits boyfriend.  he stole her binky.  and she was not having it.  i love the mischievous look on his face like he KNOWS he has stolen her binky and could not be more proud.

5.  five minutes after laying down at the pool, i looked up and this is what i saw.  i thought it was beautiful.  the fingerprints of god.

6.  not long ago, brad and i went to medieval times tournament and dinner show.  i just think this picture captures the fun we have together.  i love that boy.

7.  the boys were at swim team practice, everytime they get in the water and swim like a fish it's nuts to me, because the vastness of the pool and their little bodies.  sweet boys.

8.  one of the little fellas drew this and asked me if i would "sew him a doll just like this"  those legs are going to be hard to duplicate!

9.  i was taking the kiddos to have their picture taken.  i had ironed little bits dress and the boys shirts.  i told them that we were going to wait til we get to the shoot to put their clothes on so they would not get messed up.  then i saw this and it was so sweet, i could not resist.  nakedness.  love.  (i also entered this photo in the pioneer womans photo contest for the week.  i expect i'll win.  after all, those kids are CUTE!)

http://liferearranged.com/2011/07/instafriday-9/

wanna follow my instagrams?

you can find me at morrisonlane

the evolution of caca

caca definition

[ˈkɑkɑ] 
and kaka 

1. n. 
   dung; feces. (Juvenile. From Spanish. Usually objectionable.):  There's fresh caca in the front yard.
2. in. 
   to defecate. (Juvenile. Usually objectionable.) :  Jimmy kakadin his diaper!

i can imagine you have heard the word and maybe even used it a time or two.

my first job out of college, i worked as an early interventionist to children with special needs in a typically developing daycare program, inclusion for babies.  one of the children in the class took to calling me caca for no apparent reason than my name is jessica emphasis on the ca in her little mind and there you have it.  a little blond precious little girl who was one of my favorites might i add.

you know the kids that have nicknames?  they are just a little bit cooler that the rest of us normal jessicas.  so my entire life, i have wanted a nickname.  please someone call me jess?  jesse? blue eyes?  j?  something, anything?

no.  jessica it was my entire live long day until that day when that little blondie decided to pin me as caca.  and yes, everyone in the daycare thought it was funny and cute, but it didn't stick.  not really.  i was still ms. jessica.

until i met my best friend and she had a little girl.  her girl took caca and ran with it...she crawled, then walked...then ran...you get it.

from the moment she laid eyes on me in her little mind, i was caca and nine years later, i am caca to many.  all my close friends know me as caca and call me that primarily.  when i hear one of them say jessica it sounds not right and weird.  since she is a grown up nine year old occasionally she tried to call me by my proper name, but always she resorts back to caca, that is just who i am to her.  cool enough for a nickname.

but with the nickname of caca, there are several variations she has created...and some are more inappropriate than the name itself.

caca
caca waca
waca caca
cocky 
cock (and of course, she has primarily used this one in a large group)

and i have to turn and look at her and identify myself as yes, that's me, i am the one she just called that! and say, "yes honey."  

hi, my name is jessica, i mean caca and i have always wanted a nickname and now i have one and it is cock.  thank you thank you very much.  remember what i said earlier about people having nicknames are that much cooler?  i take it back.

but not really.

and for the children that i have nannied for, i have always been ms. jessica.  always.  no exception.  lately, the boys have taken to calling me ms. dukes occasionally because mr. bwad is waaaay cooler than me, and having his last name well...qualifies me for nanny of the year.  but never anything else.

until...lil bit heard my friends girl calling me caca - and for the past three or so months, i finally have a name.  ms. jessica is impossible for a one year old to say...

but NOT caca.

finawwy ms. jessica has a name.  her names is caca.

it's as easy to say as mama.  and all day long now with every other breath i hear caca CACA CACA!  over and over, time and again.  and just today i graduated to...

 cocky.  all day long.  cocky.

caca art by the girl in the first picture.

after it was deemed that i was going to be caca for the rest of my life and it caught on...i decided that our friend beth should be called bessie.  because that sounded like a cow, and if i was going to have to be poop, she was going to have to be a cow.  and it stuck.  she is bessie to most everyone she knows now.

you are welcome, bessie.

p.s.  brad HATES caca for a nickname for me, and everytime he hears it, it makes his skin crawl.  i always tell him i was caca long before i knew him...but then he heard lil bit say it and he thought it was precious.  of course.

caca's my name...don't wear it out.

finally, i am cool.

love,
caca

i love my mom because...

1.     she loves people.  
she loves people and let's them know.  she loves the unloveables.  she is kind to a stranger and will smile at anyone who looks her way.

2.     she loves my dad.
she has always respected my dad, through thick and thin.  when she said her wedding vows, she meant them and has life has lived out those words.

for better or worse,

in sickness and in health...

life has handed my dad a case of the worse in the last couple of years and mom has been right there by his side.  being his nurse, his companion, his faithful wife.  what a good example of love she is to me.  wednesday i spent the day with my parents and as mom was helping dad into the car, and helping him walking around and just being what he needed...i thought about trust.  

trust.  how amazing it is that they have each other.  he can completely trust her.  i can't imagine the elderly that are in failing in health that don't have a constant, some one that they can completely trust to be by their side.  

her life took a major turn when dad got sick, and my busy body mom had to change everything about how she works.  now she stays home with dad and does everything he needs...

sometimes i have to laugh, because all those years when she would beg dad to go places with her and he said no, now she says, "c'mon roy, we are going to......"  and he has to go...

she is a true example of love.

3.     because she loves her children.

meaning me and bubba.  she loves us.  she is proud to be our mom.  and she tells us that and shows us that, and tells others.  when god chose her to be our mother...we were the ones that were truly blessed.

4.     because she loves my husband.  

before she really even knew brad, she said, "well, honey, we love brad because you love him."  personally, i think he is pretty easy to love...but just hearing that they approve and even better love him, makes their daughters heart happy.

time and time again, i have seen this saying...i think i might have made some kind of art picture every year i was in elementary school, with my scribbled handwriting on it, "if moms were flowers, i'd pick you."

so this year mom, i need to to tell you...

if moms were flowers...i'd for sure pick you.

over and over and over again.

i love you.