a pink balloon.

day 9 - todays prompt is 'A moment in your day (this can be just a photo or both a photo and words)'

last week, brad lost someone that was dear in his life and he had made a huge impact in who he is today.  i talk to sister a lot about real stuff.  about life.  of course, i use three year old terms, but she gets it...in those three year old terms. i had told her that mr. brads friend mr. steve went to heaven.  

that same day we had went to red robin to eat.  she asks to go daily, we try and go once per week after ballet.  it's our routine.  sister and myself love us a good routine.  todays balloon was pink.  the deal is...if you use nice manners and are a good girl you can ask nicely for a balloon at the end of our meal.  i'm always teaching.  poor child never gets a break.

pink balloon.  she had waited.

the entire ride home, she had talked to her balloon, we had played with it.  i had swatted it from the front to the back...then without missing a beat as soon as she got out of the car she said, "caca.  i want to send my balloon to mr. brads friend mr. steve in heaven.  i think he is sitting by god and it'll make him happy."

and without missing a beat, but not before i was like "WAIT WAIT WAIT!" because i wanted to capture the moment, i said, "okay, if you are sure."

she was sure.

then we watched that pick balloon go until we couldn't see it anymore.  

and we went in the house to have a nap.

out of the mouth of babes.

amanda, you inspire me.

well, moving on to day five of the challenge! and i haven't missed a beat.  and it's sunday y'all and i am blogging.  it's like a sabbath miracle!!! we won't talk about how...i showed up three days late to this party and had to play catch-up.  and let's just hope that i stay on time or ahead.  

good for you, great for me.

today was hard for me, i have a lot of good friends around me, and some great blog friends that inspire me, as well. but after thinking about it for a while, i kept coming back to amanda.  she blogs over at thecelises.blogspot.com and honestly, all i have to do is type a "t" in my search box on my computer and her blog address appears.  here's what she looks like, and that guy hanging all over her, is her husband, danny.  we like him too.

they just became new parents to sweet arlo, who's a month old now and is the cutest thing ever with a full head of hair.  really, you should check him out.  if you love some squishy new babyness, he's your guy.

amanda and danny have a story that really touched my heart.  after three miscarriages, one being arlo's twin, she finally carried sweet arlo to term and blogged all about her pregnancy growing sweet arlo,   using humor and laughter all along the way. and although their story has been anything but easy up to this point with three losses, you can't help but think arlo is one special little boy to be born to amanda and danny.  

also, girlfriend can decorate a nursery like no other.  

so amanda, you inspire me.  

for never giving up.  

and pressing on...even when it was so so hard.

go check her blog out and tell her i sent you and while you are there, you WILL NOT be able to help yourself as you ooohhhh-ahhhhh all over baby arlo and his sweet little face.

and also, how awesome is arlo's name?  i mean, COME ON.

her blog:  www.thecelises.blogspot.com

*who inspires you?  there are so many others i could name, i really wanted to do a top five blog list, but i think that's another day...and i am a rule follower to my core.  i'm that exciting folks.  for real.

recap of the week on morrison lane.

+ + + monday, after all the sadness in boston, i found this picture on pinterest of boston all lit up.  what a wonderful reminder than in the darkest moments a light still shines.

+ + + i wrote about hope in dark times.  {and i have hope}

+ + + then there was our new york trip recap, the memory of spending the night in the airport might be one of my favorites yet.

+ + + then i had a run-on blog about my dad, ashleyannphotography.com, gardening and juicing for 15 days. four things that make me happy.  i haven't actually started the juice cleanse though.  get back with me on that.

+ + + friday, i showed you snippets into my instagram account.  it's always a good time over there, wanna join me? you can find my feed at morrisonlane.

boston and west, texas --- you're still in our prayers and on our hearts.

between you and me?

as i write this today, i'm not sure if it will ever get posted, but i need to write.

last april, in the cusp of my hand a dream became a reality. i was pregnant.  something i had prayed, dreamed and longed for my whole life had become true.  i was going to be a mother.  someones mom.  brad was going to be a dad.  a daddy.

and then as quick as that, my dream, our dream was shattered when i found out that i was miscarrying our baby.  a baby that would have been born last december, would have looked like brad and been ours.  i can not express to you the feeling i felt that day, the weekend following and the days and weeks after knowing that my body had failed me.  i never will forget one of the more defining moments in my life on sunday night, the weekend coming to an end, darkness.  saturday i had went through the motions and was okay, but then sunday night, as i took off my clothes and stepped in the shower naked, i suddenly became so aware of the fact that my body would not be changing.  i would not get a belly.  nothing.  i was empty.  brad heard me weeping and came in and asked if i was okay, and i was.  i just needed to mourn our loss one last time as the water cleansed my body.

that was last april.  a year ago.

tuesday i am going in for surgery to fix what is broken.  and hopefully, soon after that, this mamas heart will be a mother.  i have mothered more children than i can count; and am ready for it to be my turn.  for it to be our turn.

Source: abeautifulrippleeffect.com via Emma on Pinterest

when i think about the process.  a baby growing in my belly.  brad freaking out at delivery and needed a IV of coffee to keep him stable while i am assuring him it will be okay.  makes me smile, makes me laugh.  then seeing him holding our OUR bundle of joy, and then taking pictures of our little family... (we will have to find a way to sneak peggy in the hospital) it fills my heart with joy.

what i know for sure.

i have hope.

Source: Uploaded by user via Pugster Jewelry on Pinterest

i have hope still.  hope that it will be my turn soon, whatever that looks like. and that our turn at being parents is just around the bend.

i'm thankful for my husband,
great friends,
my job,
good doctors,
finally finding the right doctor,
and for this year of pain, growth and healing.

will you pray for me on tuesday?  pray for my surgeons hands - that they will be guided brilliantly to find and repair and make my insides good as new and ready to carry a child.

thanks friends.  i needed to get that out.

(boston:  runners, friends and family, your city.  you are in my prayers)